I did not create the Universe. I exist within it.
I was born.
I lived.
I lusted, even though my mother taught me such thoughts and urges were 'impure.'
I struggled with these 'impure' thoughts and urges before surrendering to nature, even as I knew it was wrong because that had been what I had been taught.
Followed by fear, guilt, and shame.
Not unlike so many of you.
Then I loved. I was fortunate enough to find or that it found me.
I lost my love, as so many have.
I was lost.
I was alone.
I experienced all the joy and pain of life and questioned my choices, the right and wrong of each, as have so many of you, when I was once no more than you.
Then, I received the greatest gift from a beautiful woman I lost but will forever love. To whom I will be forever grateful and who I will never allow to be forgotten. And yes, forever is a very long time.
For a very long time, or so it seemed at the time, I struggled with whether I hadn't been given a curse rather than a gift, facing forever and that long, long journey of unknown years ahead, alone, unable to continue without her. But, ultimately, recognizing that to do anything but continue, cherish, and honor her gift, would be unthinkable. That I needed to do more than just continue. I owed it to her and her unprecedented gift to make the most of the long, long life ahead of me. And, to do so, I needed to rejoin the world, learn to live again, and, perhaps, some unforeseeable time in the future, love again - although such a thought was for so long impossible to think, imagine, or to exist in the conscious portion of my mind without me screaming for it to be gone.
How dare it?!
But forever is a very long time, as my wife had continually forewarned me.
YOU ARE READING
The Words - An Autobiography
Science Fiction"What if God was one of us?" Credit to Eric Bazzilion, and thanks to Joan Osborne for singing his brain-rattling words. Much earlier, my mother promised that if I applied myself, I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. Then, from somewhere, I r...
