Wandering Heathens

Suna

Ryuu groaned as sand got in his sandals again. "I fucking hate Suna!" He complained as he kicked the sand around him and Shinjo rolled his eyes at how immature his partner was being. "Fucking sun! Fucking sand! Wind everywhere! How do people live like this?!" Ryuu shouted as they approached the Village gates and he stopped to empty the sand from his shoes. "Have a pleasant stay" a genin said. Ryuu glared at him and replied "I hope you get your eyes gouged out with a rusty spoon, "have a pleasant stay", what is this?!" Shinjo sighed and pushed him through the gates and into the Village. "A genin is too easy a target. And you were a kid once, be nice" "To what? Kids? Savages is what they are!" "You need to get laid." Ryuu opened his mouth to reply a smart ass comment but saw the logic of Shinjo's argument and shrugged instead.

After "liberating" some food and drinks from a local vendor, the two men wandered around the Village. "It's all brown. So...much...brown! Would it kill these people to paint a building or two?" "It's camouflage, used to hide the Village in the sand and wind. You know this." "Red would be nice. With a little bit of yellow and orange, some white and blue for highlights-" Ryuu stooped speaking suddenly as he watched a hunched over man make his way through the marketplace. He grabbed Shinjo's sleeve and dragged him along as he began to follow what, or who, had caught his interest.

Hiruko walked calmly through the Village, coming and going as he pleased with no one challenging him. He pocketed the scrolls that he had come to the Village for and was making his way to the side gate when he felt someone's eyes on him. He turned but saw no one and he frowned, quickening his pace, the feeling of being watched increasing with every step he took. Crossing the threshold, he let out a sigh of relief as he left the Village behind.

He reached the rendezvous location and stopped. Air hissed as the compartments opened and a small redheaded woman with large brown eyes stepped out of the vehicle. "What the hell?" Ryuu whispered as he watched the woman stretch and look at the sky impatiently. "There you go. A woman. Go get laid" Shinjo said as he lightly kicked a leaning Ryuu so that the man lost his balance and tumbled down the sand dunes. Sputtering and spitting out sand as he sat upright, Ryuu turned back to Shinjo with his fist raised and screaming "I'll kill you for that!"

"You don't look like you're capable of that" the woman said softly. Ryuu shook the sand out of his hair and clothes before groaning that it was in his shoes again. "Why were you following me?" she asked. He sighed before replying "do I need a reason?" She walked over to him and leaned down, her face close to his, "Yes." "I was curious. And hey, what size are ya? You look like a B? Maaaaaybe a small C?" he asked as he peered down her top. She slapped him and stood upright with her arms covering her chest. "Pervert!" she screeched as she unrolled a scroll and used her chakra strings to connect to her puppet. Ryuu flopped on his back, "a puppeteer. I hate puppeteers. Y'all's are creepy."

"Are you going to fight her or just lay there like a dead fish? Isn't that why your "conquests" come to me after? Cause you can't satisfy them?" Shinjo teased from his place on the sand dunes.  "I'll have you know that that is NOT why they go to you!" Ryuu yelled back, still laying on the sand, before he lazily got up. "Alright, let's do this" he muttered as he stood to his feet. "What's your name, by the way?" he asked her, almost kindly. "...Sasori" she replied, "why?" He shrugged his shoulders, "I just like to know who I'm killing" as he brought out a kunai.

Sasori yelled as she moved her Kazekage puppet to attack. Ryuu blocked her attack and dodged to the side. She tried again and again she was blocked. "Fight me!" she screamed as the puppet launched its weapons at the bored man. He smirked as his hands dug into his weapons pouch and pulled out senbons wrapped in paper bombs. He threw them at her and as he predicted, she used the puppet to protect herself. Thk thk thk! The senbons lodged into the wood and he raised his left hand in the spar sign. "Kaen" he said as the paper ignited and Sasori hastily disconnected her chakra strings but not before being blown up and away, landing on the sand several feet away.

"DANNA!" A blonde woman screeched as she landed her bird near Sasori, hopped off and began feeding clay to her hand mouths. "Are you ok, yeah?!" She asked as Sasori sat up and groggily clutched her head. Ryuu had stopped fighting after the explosion and he looked at the blonde with interest in his eyes. He quickly rushed over to her, catching her off guard, cupping her cheeks, saying "you're so adorable!" "I AM NOT ADORABLE, UN!" she screamed in his face, "I STOLE MY VILLAGE'S
KINJUTSU! I AM TO BE FEARED, HM!"

Shinjo had left his perch on the dunes when the blonde arrived and walked up to Ryuu as he was running his fingers through her long ponytail. Ryuu saw Shinjo and said "look! She's so cute! Even her speech impediment is ~adorable~!" Shinjo grunted and looked away, "she's not that cute. Rather annoying, really" "So picky..." Ryuu muttered as he enveloped the angry and struggling woman in a hug.

Using her fists and feet she managed to beat him off of her. "Dei, let's go. Don't bother" Sasori said as she placed a hand on Dei's shoulder, Hiruko and the Kazekage sealed into a carrier scroll. With a final "HM!" both women leaped onto Dei's clay bird and took off into the darkening sky. "No. Come back. My love" Ryuu deadpanned as they watched them fly away.

"You're pathetic" Shinjo said as they began walking back to the Village. Ryuu smirked, "sometimes the fun is in letting them get away so you can hunt them again." "Is that an excuse to cover up that you can't get laid?" he drawled as they entered an inn. "I CAN GET LAID ANY TIME I WANT!" Ryuu shouted. Feminine giggles erupted around them as the women busied themselves. Ryuu leaned on the counter with his robes hanging open, revealing his chiseled chest to the Landlady. "Hey," he said wiggling his eyebrows, "two rooms, a hot spring ticket and you giving me a massage." She blushed and giggled again before passing him the room keys and springs ticket. "I'm married, sir" she replied. He sighed, "all the good ones are..." "C'mon, I'll buy you dinner" Shinjo said as he lead Ryuu to their rooms.