Wandering Heathens

Akatsuki

"Well?" The masked woman asked the white clone in front of her. "They are who they say they are. The purple haired one is powerful but the red haired one I have yet to see in battle." the clone replied. "Interesting" she said as she sat back on her bed, lost in thought. "Your orders?" "Keep following them and report back." she said, getting up to look at her Sharingans again. "As you wish" it said bowing before it sunk into the ground. "TOBI, UN! GET OUT HERE!" A yell came from outside her door. She sighed as she put her mask on. "You're up Guruguru-chan" she said.

She opened the door. "Senpaiiiiiii! Senpai has come to see Tobi?" she asked with animated excitement. "No, hm! What have you done with my clay, yeah?" The blonde demanded. "Tobi used it to make a Deidei sculpture!" She said and held out a crude sculpture of Deidara. The terrorist squinted as the vein in her forehead bulged. "THAT IS NOT ART, UN! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ART IF IT BIT YOU IN THE ASS, HM!" she screamed at the masked face. "Senpai doesn't like Tobi's sculpture?! Waaaaah!" She cried, running away from Deidara. "Senpai doesn't like you." She muttered as she walked to the living room.

Konan was comforting Tobi who was crying into his chest. "Senpai hates Tobi! Tobi just wants to love Senpai!" She wailed, her tears soaking through Konan's top. He glared at Deidara who crossed her arms and huffed. "Senpai isn't worth your love" he said comfortingly to Tobi. She sniffled and looked at Konan who's amber eyes showed love and concern. "Konan loves Tobi?" She asked pathetically. "Yes, Konan loves Tobi. But one day Tobi will have a love all her own" he said looking down on Tobi's masked face. "TOBI WILL FIND LOVE!" She screamed and hopped off Konan to run around the room excitedly.

"Shut the fuck up! You're so fucking annoying!" A silver haired woman yelled, swinging her tri-bladed scythe at Tobi who just let the weapon pass through her. "Hida isn't being nice to Tobi," she said, whacking her on the back of her head, "be nice to Tobi!" "YOU MESSED UP MY FUCKING HAIR!" She screeched and went to chase after her but a tanned stitched hand stopped her. "Don't bother," the tanned woman growled, "you'll lose again." "But Kakuzaaaaaa! She ruined my hair! I spent hours getting this shit perfect!" She whined. Kakuza glared at Hida and said "don't." Hida sat on the floor and pouted as Kakuza continued to count her money and make notes in her ledger.

Tobi crawled over to Sasori who was making a puppet dance with her chakra strings. "Tobi loves puppet shows!" She yelled excitedly. "Do you want to see my new puppet?" Sasori asked calmly. "YES!" Tobi yelled happily, clapping her hands. A dark look crossed Sasori's eyes as she activated the puppet's hidden weapon: a scorpion tail loaded with poison. She lunged the puppet at Tobi who ran away screeching "Tobi wants to live! Let Tobi live!" as she ran from the room.

"Really, girls?" Konan asked. All four turned to look at her, false innocence on their faces. He sighed and went to find Pein.

Pein sat at her desk, a smile on her face as she read Itachi's latest intel report. "She's confirmed their identities. We've finally found them" she said, turning to look at Konan. "And you think they can help the Akatsuki with peace?" He asked sceptically. "If they've truly mastered the Uzumaki triad then yes. But according to Itachi they've just recently acquired the final kinjutsu and have yet to try it on a jinchuriki" she sighed and closed her eyes.

Konan stood behind her and massaged Pein's temples. "When was the last time you got proper rest or ate a decent meal?" He asked. Pein remained silent and Konan nodded, "I thought so. You're done for the day. Get some sleep and I'll cook you a meal" he said. Pein grabbed his wrist and pulled him close, "you could wear me out" she said huskily, standing up and kissing Konan deeply. He groaned into the kiss and his hands were about to slide under Pein's top when Tobi burst in. "LEADER-CHAN! A crow just came!" She said, holding out her arm that a crow was latched onto. Konan sighed in disappointment and left the office to prepare a meal for Pein.

Pein motioned for Tobi to come closer and removed the message from the crow's leg. The crow disappeared into a mass of feathers. Tobi laughed as she chased the feathers, trying to catch them all before they hit the ground. "It seems they're only a day away. Soon my plan will be set into motion" she said as she smiled evilly. "What plan Leader-chan?" Tobi asked. "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" She screamed at Tobi and kicked her from her office. "Why is everyone so mean to Tobi?!" She wailed.

"So tired" Ryuu complained sleepily. "We're almost there" Itachi said encouragingly. "Just think: a whole organization of girls" Shinjo whispered in Ryuu's ear. He perked up and with a shit eating grin on his face he picked up his pace, "c'mon! Girls await!" He said as he marched forward. "Is that the only way to encourage him?" Itachi asked Shinjo. He chuckled and replied "aside from studying, eating, sleeping and fighting, he's a sucker for girls despite how often he fails." "I see" she said as she watched the fire wielder march across the border separating the Land of Rivers from the Land of Fire.

"Halt! State your business!" A mean looking shinobi said, rising from the grass. "Hiya! We're travellers looking for a super secret base" Ryuu replied cheerfully. "Have you seen it?" He asked. The shinobi glowered and asked "the Akatsuki base? You're rouge-nin?" "Weeeeeell technically you need to abandon a Village to be a rouge. What do you call someone who destroyed their Village and murdered its inhabitants?" He asked with his index finger on his chin. "Murderers!" The shinobi yelled. "Well that's not very original" Ryuu said dejectedly. "Ryuu stop fucking around and take care of this!" Shinjo demanded. "Yes my love!" Ryuu called back.

He dropped into a fighting stance and waited. The shinobi let out a shrill whistle and two more joined him. All looked mean. All looked savage. "Three on one? That hardly seems fair" Ryuu said. "Prepare to die!" The shinobi screamed as he charged towards Ryuu. "Oh dear. Am I supposed to be scared?" He asked as he readied his senbons. "You're not going to help him?!" Kisame yelled at Shinjo. He winced and rubbed the ear she yelled into before replying "he may be an idiot but he's a capable fighter." Kisame watched, her fists against her mouth and her eyes wide. Let him win she silently prayed. Hidden in the ground the white clone watched with interest. Now let's see his power, it thought as it watched.