Wandering Heathens

First Impressions

They walked for what felt like hours before finally reaching a cliff face. Shinjo and Ryuu gratefully sat down to rest their aching bodies. "We walked forever to get to a cliff?!" Shinjo complained. "It's the entrance to the Akatsuki base" Itachi explained. "Well that's just great! How do we get in?" Shinjo asked. Itachi gave him a small smile and nodded to Kisame who stood next to her. They simultaneously wove hand signs, placed their palms on the cliff face and fed chakra into it. With a loud rumbling that shook the ground they were on, the cliff face opened to reveal a dimly lit corridor that stretched as far as they could see. Without a word the women entered and after sharing a concerned glance, the men followed.

Their footsteps echoed off the walls and the door closed, enclosing them in dim light and the echos of the subterranean lair. "Creeeeepy!" Ryuu said with a lighthearted tone. "Be ready" Shinjo whispered to him, gripping his sword's hilt. "Right" Ryuu whispered back and gathered some paper bomb wrapped senbons.

Itachi ignored the men and continued walking, weaving her fingers with Kisame's as they stole a moment of privacy before stepping into a warmly lit living area. "About fucking time you got back!" Hida said as she twirled her Jashin necklace in her fingers. "We were delayed by rouge-nin" Itachi said simply. "Did you cash in their bodies?" Kakuza growled. "No. There wasn't time." Kakuza's hands twitched in anger as she thought about the wasted money and she struggled to stop them from enclosing around Itachi's neck. Then she caught sight of the two men.

Shinjo stood proudly with his hand on his sword's hilt, his brown eyes taking in everyone and everything. They landed on Kakuza and he smirked. She hid her blush behind her mask and looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. "Who the fuck are you?!" Hida asked, poking Shinjo's chest. "It's those idiots Danna and I met, un!" Deidara explained.

Upon hearing the familiar speech impediment Ryuu's eyes lit up and he rushed forward to hug Deidara. "My love! We're reunited!" He said, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I'm not your love, hm! Get off me!" She screeched, trying to get out of his hug. "You didn't miss me?" He asked her, an aura of dejection around him. "NO, HM!" She yelled as she broke free of his hold. Shinjo grabbed the back of his robe and pulled him to stand next to him. "Keep your dick in your pants until we figure them out" he whispered to a sad Ryuu.

"You have finally arrived" Pein spoke as he entered the room with Konan. "Shinjo, Ryuu, this is Leader-chan, Pein" Itachi helpfully introduced them. "Petunia? Weird name" Ryuu muttered as he looked her over. "MY NAME IS PEIN!" "Ok there Pansy. Don't lose your head" he nonchalantly replied. "IT'S PEIN!" She roared, her face red with barely suppressed anger. "Maybe we should let them settle in before we bombard them with questions and information" Kisame said, a lone voice of reason. "Fine! Bring them to me later" Pein said before turning to leave for her office with Konan following.

The men turned to look at the women standing in front of them, each with their own private assessments of them. Fresh meat! Thank you Jashin for the new sacrifices!; They should be worth something. Where's my Bingo Book?; They don't look tough, un. Danna and I can take them on, yeah!

"Um. Hiya" Ryuu said, giving them a small wave. "Is this all of you?" Shinjo asked. "Pfff fuck no! There's a few more of us!" "Oh. Ok. Where are our rooms?" "Follow me, yeah!" Deidara led them to two vacant rooms next to each other. She swung open the doors to reveal cobwebs and dust covered furniture. "It's been a while since y'all's had guests I'm guessing?" "We don't have "guests". We either have members or captives. No in between" a short red headed woman said as she stood in her doorway glowering at the interruption of her work. "Well aren't you a ray of sunshine!" Ryuu muttered as he and Shinjo entered their respective rooms and dropped their gear on the beds. They kept their weapons; better safe than sorry.

"I'll tell you right now that your maid service is abhorrent" Shinjo said, frowning at the dust that clung to his finger. "Do you need a maid?!" Tobi yelled as she popped up beside Shinjo, startling him. "What the fuck?!" He said as he drew his sword. "No! Tobi is sorry! Please don't kill Tobi!" She said with her hands in front of her showing she was unarmed. Shinjo re-sheathed sword and glared at the masked woman. "Tobi can help! Tobi can get a maid!" "Then do it" he snarled.

"We just got here and you're already making demands?" Ryuu asked as he leaned against his room's doorframe. "It's disgusting! I don't even want to see the bathroom" Shinjo said to him, shuddering at the imagined horrors that would await him in that room. "Tobi will take care of it!" She said as she ran into Shinjo's room and locked the door. "Come back when Tobi is done!" She said through the door. "Leave that fucking tool" Hida said, grabbing Shinjo's hand and pulling him away.

He allowed himself to be pulled along into a kitchen where a feast was laid out for them. "Figured you'd be fucking hungry. Eat up, assholes!" They nodded as they sat down and began portioning the food between them, an ingrained habit after years traveling together. Stuffing sushi into his mouth Ryuu happily complimented the food before slurping up noodles and picking the pickled fruits and vegetables from a plate, humming as he ate them. Shinjo ate calmly and with grace and the women applauded his manners.

As they finished their meal, Konan entered and ordered the men to follow him. He lead them to Pein's office where she sat at her desk. She unfolded her hands and looked at the list in front of her. "From now on you two are part of the Akatsuki. I expect you to follow orders and work for the glory of the organization. You-" "We didn't agree to this" Shinjo interrupted. Pein pinched the bridge of her nose and narrowed her eyes, "Itachi didn't tell you?" She asked. "She mentioned your organization but we never agreed to join up." "I see. What do you need to get you to join?" "Information for one. Clean quarters for two. Observation of members for three" Shinjo said, his brown eyes steely calm as he negotiated. Pein sighed, "fine. You two will be paired with a team on a rotating basis to determine where you fit in the organization. You will be receiving missions and I expect you to carry them out with your assigned team. In the meantime, get to know the other members." With that statement she dismissed them.

"All clean Tobi-chan" the white clone said to the woman who was sitting on Ryuu's bed. "Excellent. Dismissed" she said as she twirled a senbon in her fingers. She looked at the bundle of scrolls and books spilling out from his pouch, desperately wanting to read their contents but foiled by the sealing jutsu that protected them. I will know what I need to know soon enough, she mused as she put the senbon back in its pouch, stood and placed her mask back on. "TOBI IS DONE!" she yelled and waited for them to come.