Behind a Smile

Reality check

It's time to get my mind out of the gutter all this romance shit is what got me into trouble in the first place and look at me back at it again even worse with a guy like Jeff the all so famous play boy and I'm somehow stuck in his trance..ugh Im really stupid I should stop this is not  what I imagined myself getting into  I'm getting over a break up  I can't get involved with anyone else anytime soon though.

Something got me out of my thoughts from a loud knocking wait is that banging.Oh my shit don't tell me it's my idiot friends
"okay I'm coming you knocking louder than a damn police officer " I shouted while rolling my eyes
"open up hoe it's raining and im cold and I have tea to spill" Cam said damn can this man hoe not disturb me when I'm having a good conversation with myself that's unbelievablely rude in my opinion
"Can you stop day dreaming and open the door it's freezing cold and my foundation isn't liking this cold "he shouted frustrated
Can he shut up I'm coming. I walked all the way across  the room having to open the door and let me remind you look horrible worse than horrible I tell you.
"that took you long enough I thought I'd have to wait for Jesus's next arrival for you to open up"he said sarcastically
"can you not arrive with your sarcastic remarks so early in the morning I'm tired and not in the mood for your disturbance or annoyance"i murmured
"Anyway what's up with you, you disappeared on me since the date with Jeffy boy"said Cam"but anyway"he continued leaving a pause in the middle for suspense "so I was minding my own business and I got a call from your ex Zane and before you question me like a mad woman he called me okay and he said he was trying to get a hold of you and I told him well u blocked his sorry ass and you want absolutely nothing to do with him he then disregarded my statement and said that he his coming to New York and he wants to see you"Cam said

Ugh my doom begins my life was going great I was doing good I even went on a date things were looking up for me I was seeing colour and now he wants to just shimmer his way in my life and destroy everything that's not how it's suppose to work. I can never be fully happy without something ruining it I hate him so much it's unbelievable

"em don't over think it things will work out I'm sure of it just forget that I said something and even if he came up to you, we'll kick his ass and forget he ever existed "He mocked

"Cam that's not helping my sistutaion I don't want to go to jail for assault or some weird crap "I said

"you won't go to jail we can say it's self defense because he tried attacking you or something "he responded

"I won't lie to the cops your a bad influence "I said smirking

"a good bad influence "he mocked

"that doesn't make sense Cam"i joked

"your face doesn't make sense "he restotred

"ughhhh I'm not doing this with you "I screamed

"ughhhh I'm not doing this with you "  he said trying to emiate my voice but failing miserably

His so annoying and childish damnnn.

" Let's change the topic okay "I slightly begged

"to what exactly "cam asked

"I have no idea but it has to be  entertaining " I shrugged

"ooo I have one so I found out this boy Xavier is cheating on his girlfriend Zoë and so she found out who the hoe was and turns out it was her best friend, some type of best friend that is, if u stole my man girl I'd cut your hair off I'd literally shave u bould " Cam said

"wow just wow... Okay firstly why did u bring my hair into this and secondly where do u do you get these information  and thirdly I'm not into gay men so honey I wouldn't think of stealing anything that belongs to you except your make up because it's good "I said

"oh shush unlike you I don't spend my days watching Netflix and reading you know I have a life and I was joking I knew you won't steal my men because they are not on your level anyway and stay away from my make up if you can't use them don't touch them "Cam responded

"I've never felt more offended in my life  "I laughed while faking hurt

"yes you better "Cam smirked

After watching reruns of friends and the new series Euphoria Cam decided to go home because he had someone to meet up with and I was left alone again nothing new I haven't heard from Zara since my date with Jeffrey. I wonder why he hasn't called me yet it would be nice to hear his annoying voice.

Anyways back to pressing matter Zane every time I say that name a chill runs down my spine and not the good kind .. Is he back to destroy me to fully finish what he couldn't all those yours back..

I have nightmares of  that day everyday and nothing seems to help I'm sinking into this depressing hole and the darkness just covers everything  that sheds a bit of light.

I knew I would have to stop running from my demons and face them head on but not this early I still walk around looking over my shoulder I'm still battling with the demons he left inside of me I still have nightmares I'm trying to stop.

Nothing seems to be going right for me I had a whole vision of what my independent life would be like I would be partying  dating left right and center  not caring about anyone except my friends.

But those where dreams of a happy child who had something to look forward to in life all that's left is a girl hidden behind her curtain of hair.

Maybe one day I'll be able to stand in the spot light and truly shine but that day isn't going to be today..

Sorry for not updating school has really taken a toll on me
Tell me what you think about Emma ..

What do u think her past with Zane have to do with her present

Leave a like and comment I will gladly appreciate it 💕😊