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15: Heavy Heart

                  15: Heavy Heart

        Dear Diary,

        Having to get close to Benny is a lot harder than I thought it would be, he's not too trusting, and although I don't blame him for the walls he's built high around himself and his heart, I wish that they weren't there at all because I'd be able to get the job done a lot quicker. He made me meet his Mom, the poor boy, and I hate to admit that it made me feel really guilty with what I have to go through just for Him. Apparently, I shouldn't get too attached to Benny, as it's in my genotype to dislike people upon instinct, but it's difficult not to become attached when I'm spending all my free time with him, pretending to be something I'm not.

        I know they think that the longer this goes on, the less I'm like myself, but it's really the opposite. My eyes are still on the goal, and I'm going to get it once this whole ordeal with Benny is done. I never realised how much he likes to talk though, once he's defences are down and it appears I'm genuinely interested in whatever dribble he has to tell me. I once thought that he just had a penchant of talking about himself, along with a heavy dose of self-pity, but it seems that he can't keep control of his tongue and let some interesting facts be heard.

        It finally seems that it won't be a waste, as long as I stay attentive and encourage Benny to talk some more. It hasn't escaped my attention either that he keeps disappearing on Sunday mornings, something about gaining the courage to talk to his Dad, or something like that. I don't care much for getting involved in his domestic issues, because that includes getting way too close for comfort and I can't cut ties with someone when I've become so invested in their life.

        Adrienne thinks it won't be long until we find out what the whole purpose of this is for, and although with the end near I want to be happy to be rid of Benny once and for all, a small part of me worries that this would be better off kept to himself. It's not like I can just warn Benny, either, he jumps to conclusions way too easily, and I've caught on that he's not as stupid as he likes to let on. I know that he doesn't present any immediate danger in our plan, but I wonder if this goes on for too long, he'll catch on.

        I think we should be done by next Sunday though, definitely. I'm considering joining him on his little expedition to go and see his father – of course, Benny won't know that.

        Devin.

                ◦ ▲ ◦ ▲ ◦

        “It's with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to Devin Hill. She leaves us all with happy memories, of a daughter, sister, and friend, and her memory will forever be with each of us. Devin provided that spark that other people just didn't have, a mystery to the otherwise placid teenage girl, and the only thing we should be remembering my sister for is the laughter we were able to share with her, and the happier times in Devin's life.”

        I'm not surprised in the slightest that Dean Richards recorded some of the speeches made at Devin's funeral, and is posting them online. If there is ever to be a list of people who didn't like Devin, then he'd be right at the top, circled multiple times. His bitterness extended from long before she was announced dead, which is one of the only reasons why he can even get away with it, knowing he's not disrespecting her because she's dead, but has been looking down at her since she was alive and breathing.

        “He's been posting shit like that for weeks,” Skylar tells me, watching me scroll down the web page he's titled 'Demise of Devin', which I think is sick and disgusting, but nothing more can be expected from Dean, best friend to Athena Montgomery – and stuff like this almost summarises the two of them. “Loads of views but not a lot of comments.” Watching it is one thing, but commenting is acknowledging it. I know that Skylar thinks this is just Dean being harmless, and letting everyone know of his either strong fascination or intense dislike towards Devin, but I worry that this is something else entirely, something we should be worrying about.