A Book Of Poems

Darkness Is Back

Darkness is back,
And my soul is black.
This feeling of wanting to die
is just like pi.
Infinite,
And I'm in it.
I always try to smile,
Even for a short while.
I want them to think I'm okay,
But I can't keep the monster at bay.
I act sane,
But only to cover up my pain.
I cry every night,
Hoping to feel alright.
I tell a happy lie,
Because I want to die.

Darkness is back,
And my face is slack.
All I do is write,
Because I hold on too tight.
Holding on has made me suffer,
Because everything just gets colder.
And alone I sat,
While I play with my hat.
Tears roll down my face,
Knowing I'm a waste of space.
And nothing I ate,
Because of this self-hate.
I lay on my bed
to go rest my head,
Hoping to feel alright,
As the days turn into night.

Darkness is back,
And happiness I lack.
I can't wait for my final breath,
Then I'll be traveling with Death.
It shines pretty; The moon,
But it reminds me I'll be gone soon.
Even though you hold to key,
You still can't find a way to get to me.
I look at the floor,
Then I look at the door.
I get up to lock it,
But suddenly I block it.
I knew I was done
when I grabbed that gun.
So on that gun, I pulled the trigger,
Praying it wouldn't end up a failure.

Darkness is back,
And another file's added to the stack.
I was told I was to blame,
So I held all the shame.
I wasn't a fighter,
But I held on tighter.
I couldn't do it any longer,
So please, become stronger.
I didn't die in vain,
I died because of pain.
If I was alive,
How much would I thrive?
I loved you, and I still do,
I just wasn't hanging on as much as I used to.
So, please,
Let me rest in peace.

Darkness is consuming,
And you're left, refusing.
Like I said, you held the key,
But still couldn't find a way to get to me.
For I couldn't be caught,
Even when love was all you brought.
All I had was this feeling,
This feeling of nothing.
And even though you tried,
I still lost what was left of my pride.
You did all you could've done,
So please don't hold that gun.
Cuz even though I made you sad,
I know, eventually, you'll get mad.
But if the trigger on that gun
gets pulled, I'll know you're done.