ɮts ɨʍaɢɨռɛs

Beginning

Years ago....

Back when I was a transferee in middle school, I feel left out by my friends because they were all into kpop while I was the only onr who wasn't. One day at recess, one of them opened their youtube and there it played a new music video.

"What song is that?" I asked them, which made them jokingly laugh.
"Watch it. The song is entitled "Boy in luv" and it was sang by Bangtan Sonyeondan." One of them explained, so I sat there with them as I watched the entire music video and listened to the song. 

At first I didn't like the music video and all, and when they started introducing to me to the members, I don't know why my heart started fluttering and beating so fast.

"This is rap mon, the leader....... Then this is Jungkook, the youngest in the group. Now who's your bias?" They asked me, leaving me in confusion.
"I like this one and that too," I muttered under my breath, pointing to Jin and Jungkook. Yes, that's right. They are the ones who caught my attention first.

2015. The year my friends pulled me into the fanbase called: "army".

"Sorry they're taken, all of them, but you can take rap mon as your bias" I was disappointed, of course, knowing that I pulled myself in this fanbase, and having a bias meant that I entered a conpetition of millions of girls for his attention.
"Alright. My bias is rapmon" I didn't want to argue with them, with the fear of getting kicked out in the citcle of friends and continued listening to the song that garnered my attention; the song entitled "Boy in luv" that was under the boys' 2014 skool luv affair album.

I felt like I've entered a new realm that changed my life the moment I met them as I venture on thoughts; will I regret having to become their fan?

And so, my life as a fangirl started, and as the group grows stronger and the members as individuals, I experienced ups and downs as they are, even if I am only watching from behind the screens and even if anyone in the house would openly judge me and calling me a traitor to my own country just because I am a fangirl.

Yes, I am an international army; and being an I-army has awakened me to alot of disadvantages.

One day I would save up money to buy merchandises, but then I would just wake up to reality that I'll just keep my fangirl stuff to myself because I knew they'll barge in my room and (unfortunately truth hurts) would ruthlessly rip the posters with their gorgeous faces plastered on my wall, have a sermon to me when clearly I didn't do anything, and believe me when I tell you that sometimes I just wish I would sleep forever and never wake up when in fact, the only source of light in my life would be taken away from me.

Year 17

It was my first year in high school and luckily, many of my classmates were into kpop, and are army's too. It was a good headstart for me, but then in the middle of the year, I suddenly stopped listening to their music. I never knew why, then eventually I stopped watching their videos and stopped stanning them for an absolutely unknowm  reason, where I entered the point that I denied being a kpop fan and even hating them.

Perhaps, the reason why I did that, is because I thought I can move on with those memories when I was in fifth grade. Perhaps the memory of pain and shame I've obtained from my own circle of friends would be eliminated grom my mind, especially when I had now returned to where ai used to belong.

You see, I was bullied, when I was a transferee student, maybe because of insecurity, I don't know. Perhaps... I suffered depression upom memory of my past school life.
But that was before.

Year 18

It was a new year for me, I am already a sophomore in junior high school, and I started getting ready to go back on my life as a fan girl. I realized how dark my life went when I only went on a hiatus as an army, but my comeback was just in time because 2018, is a new era; Love Yourself era.

Year 19:

Of course I couldn't take it when I stopped stanning those 7 lovely boys, and I immediately went back,  believe me, it's like forgetting to breathe, and it's like I'm a human who has been living under a rock, no lie.

I suffered pain and sadness during those times, but then I remembered those 7 boys who made me insane, and their songs and choreography that caused me my death.

I will never regret the decision of being an army and stanning those 7 dorks.

I promise myself and to them as well,

"An army now and forever, till my last breath do we part."

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A/N: this story is based on my own story of how I become an army~~

Btw pics aren't mine they belong to their respective owners!