THE SMILING PROUD WANDERER by Jin Yong

Forcing Marriage Part 4

He extended his left hand out to push at her shoulder. That granny chopped down with her right palm, aiming at his right wrist. Linghu Chong hastily withdrew his hand. He knew that he was at a disadvantage so he didn't dare to fight with her. The only thing he hoped for was to get away as quickly as possible so he lowered his head to charge at a side of her body. But he had just shaped to move when he suddenly felt the wind from her palm strike. That granny had already sent her palm towards the top of his head.

Linghu Chong quickly dodged by slanting his body to one side. But this palm strike was very quick, and with a clap, his shoulder was hit. That granny also faltered as she hit him. This was because Linghu Chong's 'Art of Essence Absorbing' had reacted in response to the strike and it had actually absorbed the power in that palm strike. That granny hastily extended her left hand in a claw, which was looking thin and sharp, at his eyes.

Linghu Chong was greatly startled, and he quickly lowered his head to avoid it. A moment later, the clothes at his back was ripped. Fortunately, that granny was also afraid of his 'Art of Essence Absorbing' so she did not make use of that advantage to hit him. She bent her right arm, and in an uppercut, she again tried to dig his eyes out. It was obvious she had come up with a plan to attack his eyes only. Because no matter how formidable his 'Art of Essence Absorbing' was, once her fingers entered his eyes, he would still be blinded. Besides, the soft eyes would also not be able to absorb other people's internal power. Linghu Chong extended his arm to block the strike. That granny followed it by turning her palm around, and used her five fingers to grab at his left eye. Linghu Chong hastily extended his left hand to block, but that granny's right hand had flown out to grab at his right ear. He leapt away quickly. Each move was strange and peculiar, and they seemed like the movements that a farm woman might use to fight someone. But these movements were fiercer and faster. In the next few moves, Linghu Chong had been forced to retreat continuously. That granny's martial art was actually not that high. She was merely able to walk silently and did a sneak attack rapidly. In reality, her martial art was far inferior to Yue Buqun, Zuo Lengchan, and even Yingying's martial art was much higher than hers. But Linghu Chong's punching and kicking martial arts were very lacking. If it was not for the fact that the granny was protecting herself from his 'Art of Essence Absorbing', and did not dare to clash with his arms and legs, Linghu Chong would have been hit a long time ago.

After a few more moves, Linghu Chong knew it would be hard to escape if he did not draw his sword out. He immediately put his hand inside his bosom to take his short sword out. His right hand had just touched the handle of his sword when that granny executed her lightning quick attacks. In the subsequent seven to eight attacks, Linghu Chong had to block with both of his hands and had no time to draw his sword out. That granny's attacks were getting fiercer and more violent. There was clearly no enmity or hatred between them, but it was obvious she really wanted to dig his eyes out. Linghu Chong gasped loudly. He used his left palm to cover up both of his eyes, while he again put his right hand into his bosom to take his sword out. Disregarding the hit he took from her palm and kick, he finally managed to grab his short sword.

At this moment, his head was hurting as his hair was grabbed and both his feet were lifted off the ground. The next moment, the sky was revolving and the ground was spinning as his body was being flung around in mid air. That granny had grabbed his hair in order to fling him away. So he was now being spun around quicker and quicker.

"Oi, oi," Linghu Chong worriedly called out. "What are you doing?"

He flung his arms around trying to grab her arms. Suddenly, his left and right armpits felt numb as the acupoints there were sealed by her. Next, the acupoints on his back, the back of his waist, chest, and neck were all sealed by her. His whole body now felt numb and he was completely immobilized. But that granny still did not stop whirling his body around. Now, Linghu Chong could only hear the whirring sound of the wind and he thought, "I've met with countless marvel in my life. But I've never been made into a big top for someone to play with before."

That granny spun him around until he was feeling very dizzy. She finally stopped and let him fall heavily on the ground.

Linghu Chong of course knew there was no enmity between him and that granny. But when at this time she toyed with him until he was half dead, he couldn't help feeling angry. He scolded, "Stinky granny! You don't know what's good for you. If I'd gotten my sword out, you'd have a body full of holes a long time ago!"

That granny looked at him with her cold eyes. Her face remained expressionless, with no trace of happiness or anger at all. Linghu Chong thought, "I can't beat her. But if I don't scold her then my loss would be too great. But I've been subdued by her now, so if she knows I was scolding her, then she'll make things difficult for me."

He immediately thought of an idea to prevent the granny from knowing that he was scolding her. He started giggling and scolded, "Bastard granny, stinky granny, the gods know your heart is bad. That's why they made you deaf and mute, can't smile, can't get angry. You're just like an idiot. Might as well become a dog or a pig. They might even be better than you." His scold was becoming more and more malicious, while his face was grinning from ear to ear. At first, his smile was just fake to prevent the granny from knowing that he was scolding her. But at the end, after looking at the granny's expressionless face, he considered his plan had succeeded so he couldn't help feeling proud of himself. He was now laughing heartily.

That granny slowly walked up to his side, grabbed his hair, and dragged him along the ground. Her pace gradually became faster. Although Linghu Chong's acupoints had been sealed, he had not lost consciousness. His whole body was aching from the friction and the collision from the ground. His mouth was continuously scolding, but he could not laugh anymore now.

That granny was dragging him along the path going up the mountain. Linghu Chong took a look at the lay of the land from the corner of his eyes. He saw her turning westward and she was actually going to the Hanging Temple. At this time, Linghu Chong had already guessed that Monk No Commandment, Tian Boguang, Bear Duo of the Northern Desert, Qiu Songnian, and the rest of those people were most likely subdued by her. Besides her, there was no one else who could do those strange and sudden movements, which the gods doesn't know and the ghosts can't feel, to suddenly subdue people. But he had once gone to the Hanging Temple and had seen it with his own eyes that this mute and deaf granny had no senses, and could even be said to be slow-witted. Even masters like Great Master Fangzheng, Priest Chongxu, Yingying, and Shangguan Yun did not suspect her when they saw her. This mute granny was really very good in concealing her martial ability.

His thought continued, "If this granny hang me up high on the Gongsun tree at Tong Yuan Valley, then put a paper on me that says I'm the world's number one pervert, I'd lose a lot of face since I'm acting as the Heng-Shan School's headmaster and I'm also wearing a woman's gown. Lucky she's dragging me to the Hanging Temple instead. I guess it doesn't matter if she just hangs me here for some time and not out in the open." Even though he had suffered a bad luck tonight, he was not going to be hung high above the Heng-Shan Other Courtyard, so he still considered it to one lucky thing from this big disaster he was facing. He also thought, "I wonder if she knows my real identity. Would she give me a special treatment if she knows I'm the Headmaster of Heng-Shan?"

Along the road up, his body bumped against countless numbers of rocks causing a lot of injuries. Luckily, his face was facing up so there was no injury to his five senses. When they arrived at the Hanging Temple, that granny dragged him straight up to the highest chamber of the Spirit Turtle pavilion.

"Aiyo, this is bad!" Linghu Chong called out.

Outside the chamber of the Spirit Turtle was the flying bridge, which was looking down at a ten thousand feet deep abyss. He was afraid that granny was going to hang him there. This Hanging Temple was rarely visited by people. If this granny hanged him there, it would be unavoidable that he'd starve to death. This turn of event was far from good.

That granny released him in the middle of the chamber, then she went below. Linghu Chong was lying down on the floor thinking of the background of this despicable granny. He unexpectedly couldn't think of any clue regarding her origin at all, but he conjectured that she must be a famous senior of the Heng-Shan School, someone like Yu Sao who probably attended people like Dingjing and Dingxian Shi Tai back then. As he thought till here, he felt relieved: "Since I'm the Headmaster of Heng-Shan, whatever anger she has towards me, she won't give me too much difficulty." But as he mulled over it, he thought, "I've already disguised myself like this. I'm afraid she won't recognise me. If she thought I was in collusion with Madam Zhang, deliberately dressing up like her and sneaking around in Heng-Shan. She'll definitely give me something 'special', and make me suffer even more. What a disaster."

He didn't hear the footsteps going up the stairs as that granny came back up. In her hand was a rope to tie Linghu Chong's hands and feet. She then took out a piece of yellow paper out of her bosom and stuck it on his neck. Linghu Chong was really curious to see what was written on that paper. But at this time, both of his eyes were blinded as a black cloth was put over them. Linghu Chong was thinking, "This granny is quite smart. She knows I'd want to look at that paper, but she's not giving me a look." He also thought, "Linghu Chong is a world's famous loafer so the words written on that paper must be something awful. I don't need to see them to know what they are."

He felt his wrists and ankles tightened as his body soared up high into the air. Now, he was hanging up high from the beam. This fuelled his anger even more and he started hurling abuses. He always loved to play around, but he was actually also very careful. His heart pondered, "I would never be able to escape no matter how much I swear at her. I must slowly move my inner energy to break through the acupoints, and wait till I get my sword then I'll stop her. Then I'll hang her up and hang a paper on her neck. Hmm, what should I write on that paper? World's number one evil granny! Not good calling her world's number one. She might get happy instead. I'll write 'World's number eighteen evil granny'. Let her rack her brain figuring out who those seventeen evil grannies in front of her are." He turned his head to a side to listen, but he couldn't hear any breathing at all. That granny had gone down the chamber.

After hanging up there for two hours, Linghu Chong became hungry and his stomach started growling in protest. But he was secretly happy as he had gradually broken through his blocked acupoints. Suddenly, his body swayed and he fell on the floor with a booming sound. It was that granny who had loosened the ropes tying him up, but he couldn't perceive at all when she had come back in. That granny pulled open his blindfold. However, he had not broken through the acupoint on his neck so he couldn't look down to see what was written on that paper. But he could see the last word written on that paper was the character 'granny'. He quietly called out, "This is bad!" In his heart, he was thinking that this 'granny' character she had written must be because she thought he was a woman. If she had written that he was a pervert or a loafer, it did not matter. But to regard him as a woman, then it was a really big concern for him.

He saw that granny took a bowl from the table, and he thought, "Is she giving me soup or water to drink? It's best if she's giving me wine!"

All of a sudden, his whole head was warm and he cried out, "Aiyo!" That bowl was filled up with hot water, which was now dripping from his head. Linghu Chong scolded, "Stinking granny, what are you doing?" Linghu Chong was greatly startled when he saw her took out a razor from her bosom. The next moment, he heard scraping sound and his scalp hurt a little. That granny was actually shaving his head.

Linghu Chong was alarmed and angry, he didn't know what this crazy granny was up to. Not long after, the hair on his whole head was shaved clean and he thought, "Oh well, Linghu Chong will become a monk from today. Aiyo, that's not right, I'm wearing a woman's dress so I'm going to become a nun." His heart suddenly trembled and he thought, "Yingying was joking that I should disguise as a nun. If that prophecy becomes reality, then it'll be a big disaster. Maybe this evil granny already knows who I am, and she believes that a man becoming Heng-Shan School's headmaster is very inappropriate. She might not even just shave my head, she might even... even castrate me so I'll become just like Cannot Have No Commandment. That way I won't be able to dirty the sacred ground of Buddha. This woman is so insanely loyal to Heng-Shan School, she's even willing to do anything. Aiyo, today, Linghu Chong has met with a big misfortune. 'To dominate Wulin, scatter your sword and castrate yourself', it's still best if I don't learn that Evil Resisting Sword Art."

When that granny finished shaving his head, she swept the hair on the ground. Linghu Chong believed the situation was urgent so he hastily moved his inner energy to fiercely break through his sealed acupoints. He had just felt that a few of his acupoints was loosened when suddenly his back, waist, and shoulder's acupoints were again sealed by her. Linghu Chong let out a long sigh, and he didn't even feel like swearing at that granny again.