Sure, Man | ot8

LOSER

"No, you can't return expired milk in exange for yogurt." Yoongi sighed, fed up with the idiocy of the human species. An elderly man was currently blocking the line of three more people, and Yoongi swore if he got less than $3.00 in tips today he was burning this mans' garage down.

"But it's all dairy! I shouldn't have had to pay for something expired anyhow! Your customer service is absolutely disgraceful!" The man stomped away, infuriated, leaving the chunky milk on the front counter.

"It expired last week..." He muttered under his breath. He apologized to the next few customers before ringing up their few items, and soon the quiet gas station was completely void of customers. Thank god.

He put his headphones on over his ears before playing his playlist and leaning forward against the counter. The sight of a grown ass, emo, stoic-looking man dancing to Twice's Fancy didn't exactly strike anyone as particularly intimidating, and he was well aware of that fact.

The thing that happened next though was something to be seen. Two men, both wearing black ski masks (one having a cute little berry pin stuck in the left side of the mask) bolted through the entrance. Yoongi's fight or flight instinct kicked in as he raised his hands slowly.

"Get the cash, and give us two fifties. Now, or I'll shoot you down to nothing but a crippled clump!"

Yoongi tried his hardest not to laugh at the threat and took off the headset. "Where did you come up with that? A nursing home?" His smile seemed to catch them off guard before he doubled over in choked laughter. One of the men grunted and jerked his gun towards the register again.

"I said now!" Yoongi almost laughed harder at his impatience, but decided to comply before he actually got himself shot.

He opened the register casually, as if there wasn't two masked men pointing a gun at him, and didn't even look up when asking his next (stupid) question.

"Why two fifties? Why not a hundred?"

"Shut the hell up and give us the damn money!" The man with the berry clip shouted.

"Okay! Chill, Fruitcake." Yoongi chuckled to himself. He was on fire today.

"That's it." Yoongi heard the taller one mutter before he reached over the counter and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Yoongi shouted in surprise before he watched Fruitcake snatch two fifties from the register before closing it gently. A true gentleman.

"We're gonna bring him to the van and decide what to do with him there."

His gruff voice lowkey sent chills down Yoongi's spine but nobody needed to know about that.

"That's literally one of the WORST ideas you've ever had! And that's saying something!"

"Oh shut up Kihyun. Literally three days ago you thought it'd be a good idea to try the bucket and door prank using bleach on wonho. Wonho's fine, but the carpet still hasn't recovered and neither has Shownu's mood."

"I thought it would just affect his hair! Not our safety..." Kihyun grumbled. Wait, don't they realize that I know one of their names now? Yoongi scoffed. Idiots. With nice voices.

"Whatever, just knock him out and throw him in the van."

Kihyun (or Fruitcake, preferably) whacked Yoongi on the head with a nearby mega can of cat food.

"... He's kinda cute th-"

"DON'T EVEN START."

feb. 22nd, 2020