Until I Die(18+)

In Which Ben Explains

          They camped out for the night.

          On top of a hillock so Eric could keep an eye out for anyone - or anything – approaching. He had a small flash light attached to a key chain he usually tucked into his pocket, the other end hooked onto the belt loop of his worn-out jeans. Every once in a while, he'd take a walk in the woodland below, turn the light on, and make sure nothing was closing in on them.

           Silence had never been so deafening.

           It was funny how him and David probably had more in common now than they ever did before, yet Eric couldn't find anything to say to him. He'd suffered the same loss 18 years ago, at the tender age of 19, yet he had no words of comfort for David.

          Hell. Maybe that was why words failed him. He knew that nothing could stop the pain his buddy was feeling right now.

           He could always share his story. Let him know he wasn't suffering alone and while it felt like his life had ended along with theirs, he could still find a way to soldier on. Although maybe that wasn't the best advice consider Eric's form of 'soldiering on' consisted of more death and blood, in the form of a job his Mama would have reddened his hind for if she'd known about it, god rest her soul.

          Eric could always leave out the last part though. Then again – someone with his skill set was like hitting the jack-pot right now. He'd imagine people would feel safer knowing they had someone like him on their side. But wait – how exactly were they safe with him, when he'd just failed David's family?

           Rubbing a finger over his top lip, his rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward, words soft when they finally leave his tongue. "Melody and Rachel."

            David shifts slightly from his position curled up in on top of his coat, but doesn't respond. Eric sighs, forcing himself to continue. If he was ever going to tell anyone about his past, it would be this man.

            "I met Mel when we were 15. Crazy love-struck teenagers, you know how it goes. I was infatuated with that girl. God, she was perfect in my eyes. Couldn't do no wrong. I'm sure you understand." It hurt to remember. "Money was tight back then. I couldn't get a job, Mama was ill, Mel and I were at it like rabbits. We couldn't afford condoms all the time...and at 17, she fell pregnant."

          He still remembers how he almost fainted at the news. He'd been terrified. He wasn't even sure if he'd ever want kids at that point, let alone be having one before he was an adult. "Truth be told, I didn't want it. Like a jackass I ignored her for weeks before my Mama found out and slapped me around the head. Told me to go round there and fix my goddammit mess." He almost smiles. His mother was one hell of a woman.

          "So like a puppy with it's tail between his legs, I brought her chocolate and flowers. I had this whole speech planned out but soon as she saw me standing at the door, she burst into tears and hugged me. I didn't need to say a word, she just forgave me. She was good like that, my girl. I asked her to marry me. She said yes."

            Looking off into the distance, he ran his fingertips over his lips. He didn't even know if David was paying attention at this point but it felt so good to finally say it. To speak of them out-loud like they were real people and not something his mind had conjured up to torture him.

          "Rachel K. Wilson was born 5 months later and she was this perfect little thing. I was too scared to even hold her. Took Mel a week to convince me I wouldn't break her," he chuckles quietly, the scent of his daughters head still fresh in his nose. "That baby smell, man? That'll stick with me until the day I die, I swear."