I am so angry I can't breath, my throat feels like I swallowed a hand full of pills dry.
I want to rip at my lungs in hope that the crushing weight will go away or even just that the pain be transferred into something I can see, something I can fix.
I know how to deal with this feeling, It's been happening for years, but at least years ago it seemed normal for me to act out.
Now if I do, I am dramatic or toxic.
I have been handed a burning stick and told not to scream.
People I thought I could count on, there gone.
I feel my self crying but when I touch my face I feel no tears, it's like another thing I just can't have.
I need the release, I need to feel pain in some other way then in my head or chest.
I am getting desperate, I am starting to not trust my self anymore.
I need help.
