I hate feeling like the only way to get relief is to tear into my skin with the knife I took from downstairs, I hate having to hide the bloody tissues intill I know the coast is clear and I can flush them down the toilet.
I need help but I am so scared to be a burden. I am continuously told how happy I must be to have so many new friends and have so much more freedom.
But what they don't say is how I must feel when I am alone again in my room.
I want to reach out but I am scared, I am scared to be labeled as an attention seeker or a toxic person.
I am so scared that I am going to lose the people that have in such a short time become so dear to my heart, because if I can be someone's "rock" for eight years, what says that people that have known me for less then a year will stay.
Who says that I won't be used and tossed aside again. When does it say that I will be happy without having it ripped out from under me every time.
