My Life As a Teenage Zombie

Go Ahead

As soon as the high elf is in, he comes straight at me. I throw myself to the side, hitting the wall as I do so. "Work some magic, Chris!"

The elf's ears perk up at that, and he turns toward the three. "They're witches, huh? What's a zombie doing with witches?"

Savannah is the first to react, thrusting her palm out toward him. A gust of air slams into him, but it only makes him take a step back. "What the hell's he made of?"

Chris' burning eyes whirl on me. "I didn't tell you to bring anyone here, you jackass! That better not be the Forest-"

"It's not, you moron," I spit back. I am not in the mood for dealing with her bullshit. "He's an enemy, though, so just attack already!"

Savannah tries some air again, but the elf moves toward her and flicks her forehead. Her whole body slams into the wall behind her, and I just know that's gonna leave a bump. Chris starts twirling her left hand through the air, and a red ribbon appears around the elf's neck, which she uses to pull him back. He taps it gently, seemingly inspecting it. "This won't hold me long, you know." He still seems mostly apathetic.

If we can't beat him...

"What'd the guy promise you?"

His gaze flows from Chris to me. "What do you mean?"

"Your master - what did he promise to give you in exchange for me?"

He brings up the Hand of Glory and starts tapping his cheek with it, pretending to think. "He promised fighting you would be lots of fun, and he wasn't wrong." He takes a step forward, but Chirs yanks him back again.

"We can't go all out here. Emily, is it ready?!"

I finally notice the last of the girls then, and when I see her, I realize her hands are clasped together while she mutters something, her eyes closed. When they open, a bright light engulfs us all, and we're suddenly standing in the park where the party was held. The party we're about to have won't be nearly as fun, I suspect. Savannah's out cold, Chris is struggling, and Emily seems too scared to make a move.

Lovely. Time to get my ass kicked.

I run at the elf, aiming to punch him across that bored face of his. When I swing, he casually catches it, then kicks me away. I fly all the way away from the park, and land on the street, in front of a car that barely stops in time to hit me.

"What the fuck!?" Doug curses as he gets out of the car. "Are you out of your god damn mind, you moron!?"

I get up, then point toward our little problem.

"Who the fuck is that?"

"Don't know. Just kill him. You've gotta help protect this town, right?"

He glances over there, sees the three witches, and scoffs. "I'm not doing shit for them."

With that, he gets back into his car, then drives in reverse. Wow. What a cockpocket.

Only one thing to do now. I take a deep breath, then scream, "HELP!"

No one reacts.

"Humans are spelled not to notice monsters, you dipshit!" Chris screams from the park, and her ribbon finally snaps. Instead of dealing with her, the elf lifts himself off the ground a bit, a pair of insectoid wings suddenly on his back. He flies straight at me, and I barely notice Emily speaking into her phone as I'm kneed in the face, and sent flying again. I really need to learn to fight.

I crash into a car, which starts getting smokey right away. This guy's stronger than me, and he's faster than me, but there's one thing he is not.

"Is that all you've got, you dumbass!?" I yell, taunting him. I need him to come closer. I'll survive an explosion, but he won't.