Alice in Wonder-City

The Queen's Croquet- Ground

The grand scene was spectacular, she'd never seen anything quite like it.  A broad iron fence, towering three Alices high enclosed what could only be explained as royal meets garden meets office block meets Queen of Hearts on a colossal, marble scale.

Quinz' Croquet Enterprises.

The gate itself is a testimony to the amount of money encased in each and every brick. Red marble columns, silver trimmings, a palace worthy of a queen. A garden, no a maze of thorns and roses reached out to greet the white ornate gate.

The gate.... which was being painted red? Curious, Alice ventured closer.

"Watch it Fred!  You're splashing paint on me!"

"I can't help it, Sven bumped me!"

"Oh, yeah! Blame it on me!"

"Don't you start. Quinz was one step away from axing you yesterday!" 

"She was not!"

"Was too"

"Was-"

"Excuse me?" Alice interrupted what she was sure was going to evolve into a thrilling argument. "But... what are you doing?"

"Painting the new gate red."

"Obviously."

"Oh," was the only reply Alice could think of, well that and the logical question. "Why?"

"Well it was supposed to be ordered in the colour red, apparently, but we ordered it blue."

"There's no we in you Trever! And she said she wanted it purple!"

"I thought she wanted it yellow?"

"No yellow would clash with all the red."

"Wait! Wait... if you ordered it blue... but thought she meant purple... and yellow... then why is it white and you're now painting it red?"

"Because the Queen wanted it to match her colour scheme." Looking through the bars of the rapidly colour changing gate, Alice noted something that the three men obviously hadn't. Everything was red. The building, the paths, the trees, the cars, even the few workers she spotted were dressed in suits styled like red playing cards.

"And you went with white?"

"Goes with the trimmings."

"The trimmings are silver."

"Well I reckon they should be white."

"Right... well good luck with that." Alice sidestepped stray splotches of paint and flying elbows on her way through the gate. She'd called ahead to book an interview and was told to be there at 6 o'clock a.m. if time was in a good mood and 6 o'clock p.m. if he was in a bad mood (Alice didn't know what this meant so she hoped he was in a good mood and arrived for the 6a.m. meeting).

Entering the building Alice was met with more red, red and hearts. The front desk was a bright red heart shape, the waiting area was filled with red, heart shaped love seats, even the elevator buttons were red hearts.

Approaching the desk, a woman sat behind it, dressed in a playing card style pantsuit, she was focusing on the large computer screen in front of her (at least at first glance she was, in the glazed backdrop behind the desk Alice could see the reflection of a phone displaying Candy Crush). The receptionist didn't look up and acknowledge Alice at first, at all really, she never got the chance because at that moment the elevator door opened with a ding.

"Kingsley!" From within the parting doors came a plump lady dressed head to toe in a poofy red hearted ensemble, even her hair was died bright red and styled in an updo that vaguely resembled the arches of a heart. This was Quinz' Hearts, owner of Quinz' Croquet Enterprises. "KINGSLEY!" And she wasn't in a good mood, should have gone for the 6 p.m. thought Alice. "You! Receptionist! Have you seen my husband?!"

Alice had never seen someone jump higher in her life (the phone was launched high enough to nearly clip the ceiling fan before crashing back to Earth with a crack. No more Candy Crush for this phone).

A stammering mess, the receptionist managed to squeak out, "Yes Madame. No Madame. Sorry Madame. I haven't seen him Madame." Alice wasn't sure whether to feel sorry for the poor woman or if justice was served. She soon felt sorry for herself however.

"And what about you?!" Turning on Alice, someone had finally acknowledged her presence 'I wish she hadn't' thought Alice. "Have you seen my husband?!"

Kingsley Hearts, co-owner and husband of Quinz' was not the most outspoken man (or intelligent), he was often the shadow of his 'Queen', more like another worker than an equal.

"I'm sorry Mrs Hearts, I haven't seen him."

"Who is she?!"

Blank look from the receptionist.

"Who are you?!"

"I'm Alice, I'm here for the interview?"

"Good. I'm in need of a new receptionist, walk with me, interview starts now."

Alice was extremely lost and confused but she thought it wise not to question. Following Quinz' they made their way through crowded halls of (barely) organised chaos. Workers scampered about, like mice in a grain house, trying to eat as much as possible before the farmer gets home.

"Move! Out of my way!" the farmer was home.

A few twists and turns, accompanied by 25 odd shouts and screams latter, Alice and Quinz' arrived in what must have been their destination, a lavish croquet field.

"You can play, can't you girl?"

"Ahh... yes, of course."

"Good." Quinz' scanned the empty field, a look of displeasure cemented to her face. "Roger! Roger where is my croquet mallet?!" Rapid footsteps answered the call, it was the man from the pamphlet.

"Right here Madame," cradled in his hands was a top of the line, personalised with red hearts, croquet mallet. "And one for your guest." Alice was given a pink (still top of the line) croquet rachet. Little was said during the game, Alice lost in the end (although that could be due to the fact that the grounds keepers were constantly 'accidently' bumping her ball).

"I had an employee once, marvellous croquet player, Mr Mock was his name. He started taking dance lessons, fabulous dancer he was, then he stated turning up less and less to work."

"Why?"

"He was taking dance lessons, he thought that meant he could turn up to work less."

"What happened?"

"It worked. I fired him."

"Oh." Quinz' came up close to Alice's face, analysing her, inspecting for any imperfections... any lies... wrinkles? Pimples? Alice honestly wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she was making her rather uncomfortable. 

"You don't like dancing, do you?"

"No?"

"Good! You're hired. Roger! Show Alice to her desk!"

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