flower. h.s ✔️

thirteen.

I readjusted the blanket around my shoulders as I picked up my mug of tea and lent against the counter, my eyes looking out the window at nothing in particular. Although I did wish it was summer again and I could have had the windows open.

Or better yet, have been back in France where I wouldn't have any of these worries.

I definitely wouldn't have slept as poorly as I did last night if I'd been in the warm overnight heat of Arles, looking forward to Colette making whatever I wanted for breakfast, it would have been pancakes. It always was.

But no, here I was in London looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge because that's how I felt, I knew it was stupid and I knew I shouldn't have even been crying last night, let alone crying for the amount of time I was.

By the end of it I didn't even know why I was crying, was it because it was clear my Father didn't really like me unless he was drunk? Was it because Finn tried to kiss me and then didn't want to be my friend?

Or was it because Harry clearly had sex with Chloe last night? I don't know!

"You practicing to be superman or something?"

I jumped as Harry spoke behind me and I glanced at him as he walked behind me and I shrugged half heartedly, gripping the blanket tighter as it started to slip.

"Just boiled the kettle if you want it." I said quietly, catching Harry's glance from the corner of my eye before silence settled and just the sounds of Harry making a drink filled my brain.

"How was last night?" Harry asked after a few minutes and I turned to rest my elbows on the counter so I could face him. Always be polite.

"Boring as hell." I muttered making Harry snort in amusement. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything but I wish you'd been there."

"Oh?"

"Mmhm, it would have been nice to know someone else was hating it as much I was." I laughed a little, watching Harry smirk and tilt his mug towards me. "Definitely wouldn't have been kissed thats for sure."

"Wha'?" Harry stood up right at my statement and I cringed, why did I have to mention that?

"Nothing." I muttered, rubbing my face and finishing my tea before moving around the kitchen to take a seat on one of the stools.

"Did yeh not wanna be kissed?" Harry asked slowly and I shook my head almost immediately, keeping my eyes down I did not need to see his pity face.

"I'll punch him if you want."

I lifted my head to see Harry staring at me with a straight face and I laughed a little, his lips twitching slightly in response but I shook my head. I didn't trust myself to answer verbally, Harry would do that for me?

"How was your night off?" I asked instead, very aware that this was the longest he and I had ever spoken and every word out of my mouth was like a ticking time bomb and I knew I had to be careful.

"Alright, boring." Harry shrugged and I sucked my teeth.

"Do anything?" More like do anyone?

"Just watched TV."

Harry shrugged again and I forced my eyes away from him as my chest caved in, he just lied. I nodded curtly but didn't anything more to the conversation.

Why would he lie to me?

I was an adult and it wasn't like it bothered me that he'd hooked up with Chloe.

I was an adult, Chloe was an adult, Harry was an adult. I didn't care. The angry bubbling in my gut told me otherwise but I knew deep down I didn't care. I had to tell myself I didn't care because otherwise I was going to over think it, and especially Harry's threat of violence towards Finn for me.