You Sir Are No Gentleman - (boyxboy)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

A dark fog, that's all I could see as I slowly woke up, my eyes barely opened and I seemed to be looking into nothingness.  Where was I?  My whole body felt heavy as I lay slumped on a cold surface.  I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  A freaking huge logging truck and all the logs fell on me.  My head hurt, my back hurt, I was dizzy and my mouth was dry and tasted like dirt.  I tried to call out, but only a low croak escaped my parched lips. 

When I lifted my head to look around I winced as it banged into something hard and jagged.  I lifted a shaky hand to feel in front of me.  It felt like...rock?  I rubbed my eyes until I could see better, but I was in near darkness.  There was only enough light to realize I was in the back of a cave, it smelled like a mixture of musty and rot.   

I tried to sit up and my body protested at each movement, but I was finally in an upright position leaning against the wall of the cave.   I was sitting in dirt, but I could just make out a pile of some sort of animal skins several feet away, almost like a makeshift bed. 

I took a few deep breaths as I tried to get my bearings.  I remembered being in the museum with Phil and the exhibit and then knocking the giant caveman over, but everything after that was a blur.  Could I somehow be in one of the replica caves in the exhibit.  Maybe I passed out and Phil dragged me in here because he heard a security guard coming.  But why did the dork just leave me here?!   

Leaning over I got on my hands and knees and started to crawl to the opening of the cave.  Every muscle in my body felt strained and bruised and I found myself gritting my teeth to keep going.   

The cave I was in opened into a passageway and I could see the light of day further down.  WOW!  They make these replicas pretty big when you're not even allowed past the velvet ropes.  I continued crawling down the passageway even though it was tall enough to stand, but I just didn't have the strength to get on my feet.   

'Stupid Phil, I'll kill him for dragging me in here' ; I ground out between my teeth.  I could see the drag marks in the dirt as the light filtered in more.  At least the power was back on if there was light!  As I got closer to the end I could hear the sounds of birds squawking in the distance, the power must have turned on the realistic background noises that some of the exhibits had. 

I could also feel a slight breeze coming in from the entrance which was seriously perplexing.  Especially because it carried the scent of grass and...what was that...there was a slight hint of campfire as well.  When I curved around a bend and found myself at the front of the cave, there was blinding brightness. What the fuck? Oh hell no. 

That bitch took me to some cave and left me with a pack of hobos!  Where's Superman when you need him? I mean the guys were in what looked to be rags because they had on clothes that barely covered their bodies, some even had makeshift loin-cloths and there were no women around.  And ugly, did I mention how ugly they were?  They had long stringy greasy hair, beards that looked like they were full of old rotted meat.  Did he make some deal for my soul or something?  He sold you to the guys from Duck Dynasty.  Really?  These guys make the guys from Duck Dynasty look like runway models. 

 Oh the horror!  

 Sarcastic bitch. 

 Likewise hun. 

Maybe I can crawl away unnoticed and they won't see.  Slinking swiftly towards the trees I hurry in hopes that they won't see me.  Just as I'm about to make my escape, hopefully, I, being a huge idiot looked behind me and crawled straight into a damn tree! As I'm cursing I notice that there's no longer any noise and turning around, like in some cliché horror movie, there they are and they don’t look too happy that their little gift is running away.