An Ineffable History

Chapter Twelve: Quarter Past Midnight

Soho, England, 2007

The Antichrist was on earth, the beginning of the end of the world was upon them, and Crowley and Aziraphale were sitting together, no longer quite drunk in the bookshop. Aziraphale, the blessed bastard of an angel, was playing his ridiculous "I can't go against heaven," routine. Well, Crowley knew how this dance worked. It would take a while, Aziraphale would deny and Crowley would tempt. Aziraphale would concede and Crowley would stop just before giving Aziraphale what he actually wanted, he always let the angel come to the conclusions on his own. It was a dance that they had done many times over the decades, and Crowley had every move memorized.

"Godfathers. Well I'll be damned!"

"It's not so bad once you get used to it." Crowley winked at Aziraphale, who looked slightly rattled- whether it was at the wink or at the implication Crowley couldn't tell. But the sudden shift of Aziraphale's expression was suddenly far too hilarious. Crowley burst out laughing while Aziraphale stared at him, baffled.

"What's so funny?" Crowley didn't answer, he just kept laughing. "Are you alright there Crowley?"

"Only you angel," Crowley muttered, trying to recover himself as he sat up on the arm of the sofa.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing." Crowley straightened up slightly.

"Well," Aziraphale started, staring at Crowley like he had gone mad, "if we're to be watching over the Antichrist, we should probably be there for his early years, make sure he isn't too heavily influenced towards one side."

"It just so happens that there's an opening in the Dowling's staff for a gardener and a nanny."

Aziraphale tilted his head, and Crowley could almost see the gears turning in his brain. Which should I choose, nanny or gardener? It was sort of funny, but Crowley restrained himself from laughing again.

"Look, I'll make it easier for you." Crowley held out one hand and a silver coin appeared in his outstretched palm. "Heads, I'll be the gardener and you'll be the nanny, tails vis-versa."

"No miracles?" Aziraphale asked hesitantly.

"No miracles." Crowley agreed, smirking a bit. Always the same conversation when it came to these things. He raised an eyebrow and Aziraphale nodded at him, giving him permission. Crowley rested the coin on his thumb and flicked it in the air with a soft ping that rang through the shop. The coin fluttered in the air, reflecting the soft light from the lamp as it hovered at the peak of it arch before coming back down and landing perfectly in Crowley's outstretched palm. He closed his fist around the cold metal of the coin.

"Ready?" Aziraphale nodded again and Crowley opened his fist. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow,

"That settles that then. I suppose I'll have to do some research on gardening."

"I'm going to need to get some new clothes." Crowley summoned another glass of wine to his hand and took a sip. He was going to be a nanny to the literal Antichrist (the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness). Dagon was going to get a kick out of this. His brain was already beginning to spin with creating a new character for him to play. A nanny... this could be fun. Before Crowley could keep going, Aziraphale cleared his throat, interrupting Crowley's thoughts.

The angel gestured to a bottle of wine that had appeared miraculously in front of him.

"I think this calls for a toast, don't you?" Aziraphale asked as he topped off Crowley's glass.