Philosophy of a Dumbass

CONTINUATION

An all-too-common inquiry made at my school is what students want to do after they officially graduate. While some people may find answering this question to be a peculiarly tedious process, others may have an easier time determining what they want to do after high school; then again, the individuals finding this to answer typically participate in extracurricular activities, such as Student Senate or NIACC classes.

Although I personally do not partake in extracurriculars, I believe I have a relatively rough idea of what I want to do following my graduation from high school.

Of course, like any other [logical] human being, I'd like to take some time to enjoy the fact that I am no longer in high school. I will spend an entire summer break (if not longer) appreciating this glorious realization, likely spending a lot of that time with my girlfriend.

Once it comes time to move out of my home and into my own place, my plan is to offer my girlfriend the opportunity to move in with me. This way, I have the ability to spend as much time with her as I possibly can, and payments will be easier to manage (come on, man, I might be generous and all, but I'm no Mel Gibson).

An apartment complex I'm particularly fond of is located over by the Catholic school on the other side of the town I live in. I actually happen to have a friend who lives in one of those apartments, and trust me when I say, they're very nice.

I do, however, want ever so badly to move out of this town - with Nevaeh, of course.

I've considered many different locations over time that I may find suitable (preferably somewhere natural disasters and crime rates remain at a minimum), and usually, with those extra standards in mind, my options are narrowed down to states like Iowa, Minnesota, and Montana. I admit, it's disappointing to see other options like California, Texas, and Louisiana thrown out the window as a result, but it's still more beneficial in the long run, both financially and safety-wise, seeing that states with bigger populations typically charge more for housing, and have higher crime rates (not to mention California's new laws allowing Confiscation Nazis to breach your constitutional right to bear arms by taking any and all firearms you own, rendering you much more vulnerable than you were with them, and inadvertently increasing crime rates).

The concept of further education (college) is still a rather hazy one, seeing that I don't quite enjoy the thought of even more schooling after thirteen consecutive years of seemingly pointless information exchange, although I am aware college grants you more freedom and provides living quarters. Alas, the good of college seemingly always becomes inevitably overshadowed by the burden of the required expenses. See, with how expensive college is, I feel hesitant to look into such things, and while I am certainly aware scholarships are easier to obtain now than they were several years ago, I still don't quite understand how to obtain one.

It's odd, I'm aware; this isn't a diary full of white girl secrets, or a Communist manifesto - this is an actual book. So why in the world am I logging things as they're happening? I honestly don't know, and I assume you never noticed that until now, so... yeah.

How exactly will this entire thing look in the years after it's published (if that even happens)? I mean, considering I've listed out future plans despite the fact I'm only 18 and this book isn't even published yet, it may or may not look a little strange (if you're reading this in the year 2042, it probably does). But that's alright. It's not like I won't have the resources or capability to write an official sequel that explains my plans in further detail and delves into which ones went as expected and which ones didn't.

I can't say I'll know where my friends will be in those years. Perhaps they'll be working conventional jobs, like operating the registers at Wal-Mart or taking Jared's place as the next spokesperson for Subway. Maybe they'll become movie stars and allow the fame to get to their heads, or one of them may even become North Korea's very first capitalist leader, finally putting an end to the nationwide poverty and famine that are progressively damaging the country, whittling it down to nothing but a heap of rubble. But who knows? I sure don't. I'm just a teenager writing his own book.

Of course, with writing this book, and mentioning my girlfriend's name in it, I sometimes become riddled with anxiety, fearing that her peers may find it. Why I fear this, there is a simple answer. See, she prefers I don't really tell people that we are in love, and from what I can tell, this is because she doesn't really want any of the "special attention" that comes with the knowledge of such information. I have but a singular qualm with this: hiding this information may easily lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding, and people being hurt.

See, what I'm afraid of is some guy not knowing she's already in a relationship and asking her out, and then her - not wanting to crush his feelings - accepting. It may sound unrealistic, but it's a genuine fear of mine (as is her just generally leaving me) that is very real. Hell, I'm afraid of her getting upset were I to say something to anyone, or because I used her name in this book, not because I'm afraid of her physically hurting me (God, neither of us would even THINK to do that), but because I'm afraid that she'll dump me out of frustration. I understand she wants her privacy, and I will try to respect that as much as humanly possible, but the unfortunate reality is, there are some things I can't lie about... at all.

I love her more than anything in the world; it's like she has a grip on my heart that I don't want her to loosen.