Trapped in the Closet

Unexpected

Batman's POV

There is word that The Joker has been sighted on top of Wayne Enterprises. Obviously directed at me, from the police radio station of a helicopter, and the Satellite images can prove it. In fact, the Joker is smiling directly into the camera wearing a fake tuxedo shirt, and is waving. He also happens to be standing on a giant array of red roses in the shape of the Batman symbol with 'I 🖤 Batman' spray painted on it in black. Okay, what the fuck is going on?!

Third POV

"The Batwing is ready for you sir." Bruce jumps a little.

"Jesus Alfred! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Alfred sneaks up on his master with ninja skills that rival Batman's.

"I'm rather Sorry master Bruce, I didn't mean to startle you." Bruce sighs.

"That's ok Al, thank you." Alfred bows and hops into the Bat computer chair as Batman Assends into the skys of Gotham city.

(Couldn't find a version with it playing once :/ )
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Batman descends toward the top of Wayne Enterprises from the Batwing, now in autopilot.

"Finally! I've been craning my neck in this position for hours! What took ya so long?" Joker whines.

"Joker, what is the meaning of this? Where is the antidote?" Batman grips Joker's shirt and lifts him up.

"Antidote? What antidote?"

"Don't play dumb with me Joker, I saw your little broadcast. Now, where. Is. That. Antidote?" He asks grimly, emphasizing the 'dote' in antidote.

"Ooooooh, yesyesyesyesyesyessssss, (whoever knows that reference will be applauded) that antidote, yess, I'll give you the antidote if you- first of all, put me down." Joker eyes him with a single brow raised. Reluctantly, Batman obliges.

"Now what?" Batman asks.

"Have a seat." Joker gestures towards his right.

"Excuse me?" Joker sighs.

"Do you want the antidote? Or not?"

".....fine." Batman says through clenched teeth.

To their right, was a table for two with a fancy, white cloth and a pizza box sitting on top. Batman checks under and over the table and chairs for bombs. Joker just rolls his eyes and takes a seat. Batman takes this as a confirmation that there aren't, in fact, any bombs planted to go off as soon as he sat down. Joker lifts the box to reveal a veggie pizza.

"Hey Al, you can scan the pizza with Bruce's fancy, shmancy technology if you want." Joker smirks smugly. Bruce's eyes widen and nearly chokes on his own breath. He had nearly forgotten that The Joker knew his secret identity. A net of blue light emits from Batman's eye-lenses, tracing over the entire pie.

"I- master B is he serious? And if you're wondering, that pizza is safe to eat sir, no traces of poison at all." Alfred stutters through the comms. Bruce was extremely relieved that the connection was too weak to pick up that day on the boat.

"See, I wasn't sure what you liked or if you were vegetarian, vegan, on a special diet or had any allergies. So I got a nut free, no preservative, vegan pizza with a gluten free, low carb crust." Bruce was caught off guard, he felt his heart skip a beat, Joker was being so.....caring???