Trapped in the Closet

Bamboozled

Third POV

"Batsy nooo!" Joker tackles Batman out of the way of the freaking MISSILE, crashing into a nearby building behind them, exploding on impact. They both groan in unison.

"Y-you saved me, you saved my life. Joker I-" Harely starts to reload, snarling.

"Save it for AFTER we somehow defeat Harley, right now we gotta TAKE COVERRRR!" Another rocket is launched in their direction as they leap out of the way in opposite directions.

"If she keeps this up, she's going to destroy the whole of Gotham city!"

"No shit Bats! Heh, déjà vu."

"Look out!" It's now Batman's turn to shove Joker out of the way, before a missile just passes Batman's shoulder.

"Stupid B-man! Ya have to just go ahead and ruin EVERYTHING!!!" Harley just starts to shoot all willy nilly, too enraged to care about accuracy.

"So, what's the plan Bats? Any bright ideas? If you do, can ya hurry the fuck up?! Or we will be litteral toast!"

Batman's POV

He's right, I have to hurry. Harley's becoming impatient.....impatient but sloppy. We need a distraction, something that will distract her for long enough so I can disarm her from behind.

"Follow my lead." Joker raises an eyebrow but nods.

"Harley, you can have him, just stop shooting!" I shout over the explosions. For a moment, her face lights up and stops shooting, but she frowns and aims at me.

"I don't believe it!" Harley loads up the bazooka. I have to make it more believable. I turn to Joker.

"Joker, I'm sorry, but...I think we should break up." Joker's face scrunches up in confusion.

"Huh? What do you- " I tilt my head in Harley's direction. "Ooooooooh-yeah-uh-whatever-uh-do you mean? I thought we had something!"

"Things aren't-I can't believe I'm doing this- things aren't working out." I cringe internally, this better work.

"What?! I thought things were working completely fine!"

"No they arent, you're clingy, destructive, abusive, you were already dating Harely, AND YOU PLAYED WITH MY FEELINGS!" Joker falls silent.

"Y-you really feel this way-"

"And to think, that you felt the same way, you tricked me into giving into my desires, into thinking you felt the same way, just for it to be a giant scheme to make me feel vulnerable." I look up at Joker, and he's furious.

"If that's how you really feel, then FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!!!...........Harley....let's go." Why is he so angry? He's the one in the wrong!

Harley's face lights up, but falters when she sees Joker's face. She yells at the henchclown to lower the helicopter for Joker to get in. I feel tears start to well up in my eyes...I...I need to get back to the mission. If I don't act now, I'll miss my chance.

Third POV

"Don't worry about the big, bad Bat Mistah J, he can't hurt you anymore." Harley hugs Joker affectionately, squeezing him tight.

"Ngh not now Harley." She let's go.

"Sorry Mistah J, I just want tah comfort my puddin." Joker sighs.

"Thanks Harls, at least someone cares about all the hard work I put into things....................." The silence starts to concern him.

"Harls?"

"Mmmmtupidmmmbmanmmgh!!" Joker turns around to a tied up and duct taped Harley, the henchclown attached. Joker sits down in the co-pilot seat next to Batman. The tension in the air is so thick....you can't even cut it with a knife, you'd need a fuckin chainsaw to cut through the thiccness.

"Did you really think that I sent you on a wild goose chase, all around Gotham, after I showed you a side of me that you haven't seen much of before, just to make you feel vulberable?!" Batman stays silent, focusing on piloting.

"I did all of that so you would open up to me, yes, but also to show you how I really feel. As for the whole breaking out of Arkham and 'wild goose chase' thing, that was so that you wouldn't get to our date before I was finished, which took forever by the way. The first batch of flowers flew away, so I had to go get new ones and glue those down, but then I realised that the proportions were completely off. So, I had to rip all those out, re-glue them in the right shape, spraypaint it-oh and then the pizza turned cold, but it was too l-" Joker looks over to see Batman trembling.

"What are you? Constipated?"

"S-s.....s.....s-"

"Are you having a seizure or..?"

"Sorry." Batman says through gritted teeth.

"D-did you just say what I thought you said?!" Batman grunts.

"*gasp* You did!" Joker laughs.

"Hahahahahhah-ahem-heh. I accept your apology, and I guess I should apologise for not just telling you up front that I wanted to go out with you. Sorry." Bruce smiles, genuinely for the first time, that doesn't involve the mockery of the Joker. Batman looks down at the city of Gotham, noticing that panic has spread through these tiny green dots. Batman's eyes widen.

"The antidote! What about the antidote? Where is it?"

"What antidote?" Batman glares at him.

"Oooooh right. There never was a virus."

Batman pauses, just to process the fuckery that is going on............this lasts for several minutes before-

"Then how do you explain that laughter, the complection change and the hair change?"

"Oh that was just a concoction that crane made for me, it's harmless, all it did was make em laugh and change their looks for a while. Don't worry, it's only temporary." Batman falls silent.

"SON OF A BI-"