Attachment Is Forbidden

3. Becoming

ANAKIN WOKE UP anxious. After Obi-Wan had fallen asleep on him the night before, Anakin had stayed up, gently stroking Obi-Wan's hair and thinking. Ahsoka would be taking her Trials today, and Anakin was a confusing mixture of pride, anxiety, sorrow, and joy. Pride, because it had taken so much to get to this point; anxiety, because the Trials were immensely difficult; sorrow, because she had been his apprentice and it was sad to see her go; but also joy, because she had proved time and time again that she could handle herself, and she was finally back in her rightful place in the Jedi Order.

"Ani?"

Obi-Wan was awake. Anakin looked over at his lover, whose normally bright blue eyes were dim from sleep and whose short hair was a mess from laying on it all night, and thought he looked absolutely perfect. 

"I sensed your anxiety. It woke me up," Obi-Wan explained. 

"Ahsoka's taking her Trials today," Anakin sighed. "I'm worried."

Obi-Wan kissed him. "Don't be. She can handle herself," Obi-Wan murmured when he pulled back. 

"I know, but she was my Padawan," Anakin said, frustrated. "You know how trying having your Padawan take the Trials is on the master. You watched me do it."

"And fell in love with you for it," Obi-Wan laughed.

"Nah, you were in love with me long before I took the Trials," Anakin teased.

"True that," Obi-Wan said, scooting closer so that he was almost on top of Anakin again. Anakin kissed him deeply, loving the taste of Obi-Wan's lips, loving everything about Obi-Wan. 

"We should get dressed. We do have to get to your Padawan's Trials, after all," Obi-Wan gasped when Anakin had to breathe. 

"That's no fun," teased Anakin, "but I know we have to. I have to see Ahsoka's Trials."

"I know."

They got dressed, both clipping their lightsabers back onto their belts, and then Anakin kissed Obi-Wan again, needing the familiar comfort his lover offered. Obi-Wan returned it quickly, and Anakin was immensely grateful. 

"You know you're the best lover a man could ask for?" Anakin laughed when they separated.

"So you've said. Shouldn't we be going?" Obi-Wan replied.

Anakin gulped nervously and said, "I suppose we should."

They left Obi-Wan's room and entered a turbolift in silence. Once inside, Anakin started fidgeting, much as he had fifteen years before when they'd gone to meet Padme for the first time in ten years. Obi-Wan noticed.

"Calm down, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "I know this is nerve-wracking. I had to do it for you, because you insisted on taking the Trials. Thanks for a few sleepless nights, Anakin."

Despite himself, Anakin grinned. "Wasn't intentional, Master," he said, and then dropped his voice and added, "Unless you were referrring to after the fact..."

"Oh, stop it," Obi-Wan protested. "Let's just go watch the Trials."

The Trials took most of the morning, and Anakin was nervous throughout, but it lessened each time Ahsoka made it through another Trial relatively unscathed. Anakin was supremely proud of his apprentice as she was granted the title of full Jedi Knight, her head held high. Ahsoka came up to Anakin and Obi-Wan where they stood afterward, holding hands behind their backs. 

"Well done, Ahsoka," Anakin said. "You definitely earned it."

"Thanks, Master," Ahsoka said, smiling.