The Pieces of Us

How I Knew it Was Love

When I'm in a relationship, I normally hit a point that I like to call 'the inner core.' This is basically when I feel like I truly know a person and can really trust them. Normally this happens early on if I'm truly going to be their friend, but with some people it takes a little bit of digging before I can really hit that 'inner core.'

It took three weeks of determination and frustration to hit Matthias' inner core, but it really wasn't what I expected at all.

I had known Matthias for around four months by this point. Often times I became frustrated with him, because I really didn't get to know who he really was. He never talked about his family, his past, what he wanted to do with his life, whether or not he wanted to go to college, and pretty much anything else personal. He was always living in the now, and he only wanted to talk about you or what he had done with you. There was nothing deep. It almost seemed that he was a total open book and that there was nothing he didn't hide, but I knew that that couldn't be true.

So I set myself out on a mission. A mission to find Matthias' inner core, and I had a feeling that it would be harder than I expected.

I spent an entire week trying to just talk to him and it failed. And by talk, I mean not just mindless chatter. Not just 'hey, how are you?' I mean an actual, intelligent, deep conversation. I honestly could not do it. He always diverted the converstion, or got distracted, or had to do something else, or I reminded him of a book he once read, or maybe a random science fact he had heard on the internet, but it was never what I wanted it to be, no matter what.

After that dreadful week I gave up, because it was so frustrating.

I called him on Sunday of that week to see if we could get together or just talk sometime.

"Hey Eira!" he greeted, unusually chipper for 8 AM on the weekend.

"Wow. You're actually awake? I'd assume that you'd still be sleeping on a Sunday."

"Oh, I got up and went on a walk this morning. I really like the way the sun comes through the leaves in the morning." Okay, definitely unusual.

"That's...interesting."

"So why did you need me so desperately that you had to call me at a time when you thought I would be sleeping?"

"I wanted to see whether or not we could hang out today. It's a pretty nice day out and I thought that maybe we could just go do something."

"Let me check my calender." He paused for a good period of time, occasionally making a sound of agreement. "As I'm sure you're aware, I'm quite a busy man, but today the only thing scheduled is a period of video games and self loathing, but I'm pretty sure we can work around that." I rolled my eyes. He thinks he's so hilarious.

"Oh I'm sure that you are so busy. I happen to be quite busy also, you know with my life and friends."

"You know I've just made a bad joke when I literally know exactly what expression you are making at the moment." I laughed.

"Don't worry about it. This time I'm just wondering how in the world you ever managed to get a girlfriend."

"You have no freedom of speech here. You're the one who was actually dumb enough to date me."

"Okay okay. So are we going to do something or what?"

"Yeah. I'll pick you up around eleven thirty. We can have lunch and then go do something else, like see a movie or maybe go to the library."

"The library? How in the world is that considered fun?"

"Are you kidding me? Books, puzzles, computers, books, and most importantly books. Did I mention the books?"