Fortuitous (A Miraculous Gender Neutral Reader Insert)

Halloween Special(Non-canon)

You swing through Paris on your grappling hook. Marinette invited you to join the class on their impromptu trip to Champ de Cris, but you declined. Someone has to be ready for the akumas.

You pause. Is that...screaming? You see a red and black blur in the distance. You have got to be kidding me. You hurl yourself in that direction. When you get there, Chat Noir is running around and repeating 'No' to himself and Ladybug is trying to defend herself from a grey-skinned man with bright orange and purple hair. You ram into him and say, "Go do what you need to do. I'll take over here." Ladybug nods and runs off into the distance.

"Shut up. It doesn't matter. They don't have any powers." he mutters. Then, he turns to you.  "I was this close to getting Ladybug's miraculous!" You take a few steps back. "Hah, you scared yet?"

"What happened?" you ask instead.

"W-what?" he asks.

"Why were you akumatized?"

"Don't act like you care!"

"It helps if you talk about it."

"...I was visiting Champ de Cris by myself, since my friends had to cancel, and I was scared. I got lost and stumbled upon the security room. They were watching. They had popcorn and were watching my screams on loop." he says.

"That was horrible of them to do."

"I just felt so embarrassed and angry." He pauses. "Oh, I see what you're doing. You're trying to stall for time. Well, it won't work! For I am Phobos!" He grabs your arm and waits. You kick him back a few yards and pick up Chat. You repel yourselves far away from Phobos.

"Alright! Chat listen to me. Whatever you're hearing, whatever you're seeing isn't real. The akuma is making you see it." you tell him. He's stopped running, but he keeps squirming and whispering 'no'. This is too feeling-y for me. You slowly give him a hug.

"Heureux? Is this...real? I don't know what's real." he says slowly.

"Yes, I'm real. Everything else isn't."

"It's too hard to tell what's real. I'm sorry I won't be much help."

"Wow, not a single pun. This must be serious."

"The akuma can make anyone see their worst fear."

"That's horribly cliché."

"You're not gonna ask what I saw?"

"That's personal. If you want me to know, you'll tell me when this is over." you reply. What is your worst fear? That's a loaded question. And one you're not ready to answer. Then, someone jumps onto the roof. It's just Ladybug.

"Heureux, I give you the goat miraculous. When the mission is over, you will return the miraculous to me." she says holding out a small box. You take it and lift the top. There's a flash of light and Ziggy appears.

"Hi, I'm Ziggy. Once you put on my hair clips, just say 'Ziggy, Prepare to Charge'. Oh! My special power is Revitalization. It restores things and people to a previous state." Ziggy says.

"Thanks for the tutorial." you say pulling your hood back to fasten the clips to your hair. "Ziggy, Prepare to Charge!" You feel the transformation sequence and then, it feels just like a hug. It's so soft. You're wearing a black and white fleece sweater with a big hood and oversized arms. Poking through the hood are the horns on your hair clips. The horns are more silvery. You wear white jeans with boots of the same design as your other ones, but they're in monochrome. You have big fluffy gloves on your hands and are holding a war hammer with horns matching the miraculous on the side. Your mask is a simple domino mask with a black dot over one eye.

The first thing you do is point your weapon at Chat and say, "Revitalize!" He gets up and blinks at you. "What? Cat goat your tongue?" you ask.

"Heureux?" he asks.

"I'm not Heureux, I'm Chèvre Tachetée." you reply. "Now let's take care of Phobos."

"I saw Phobos when I came here. They should be over there." Ladybug says as she yo-yos away. Chat follows. I can do this. You push the top of your war hammer down onto the roof and propel yourself forward. You see Phobos and slam your weapon down.

"For goat's sake, that enough." you interject.

"How dare you?!?" Phobos shouts.

"Don't let Phobos touch you. That's how he goats you." Chat shouts. "The akuma's in his watch."

"Goat it." you reply.

"Is now really the time for puns?" Ladybug asks.

"There's always time to Chat milady." Chat says. Phobos grabs Ladybug and Chat at the same time. A writhing mass of too many arms and legs appears.

"Where's the akuma?" you ask.

"I don't know." Ladybug replies. It has to be connected to fear somehow. Let's see. Fear. Humiliation. Security room. Wait! A security blanket. It has to be the sweater.

"It has to be the sweater. He's been holding onto it whenever he wasn't spreading fear." you shout.

"Wow. It's like a pun-loving Ladybug." Chat remarks.

"Lucky Charm!" Ladybug shouts. A polka-dotted set of bandages appears in her hands. What are we gonna do with those? She scans the area and gasps. A set of arms comes down where Chat is. He narrowly dodges.

"It's multi-armed and ready to attack." you say.

"Do you think you can hold off the monster alone?" Ladybug asks.

"Are cats pawsitvely pawesome?" you reply.

"Good." she says. "Let's go Chat." They jump past the monster and you attack.

You jump up in the air and push the flat top of your hammer against it. It grabs at you and you dodge. You heave your hammer up and bring it down with enough force to crack the roof. You hear Ladybug shout, "Miraculous Ladybug." and the monster disappears. Ladybug and Chat jump onto the roof. You take off your miraculous and hand it to Ladybug.

"Thanks for your help, Heureux." Ladybug says.

"Don't mention it." you reply.

"Ha, I knew it!" Chat shouts. The beeping of miraculous signals them to go.

"Happy Halloween!" they shout as they jump away.

"I don't celebrate Halloween but okay." you mutter to yourself.