chapter 13

V

Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil

[we nid 2 talk] We need to talk.

[wat?] What is it about?

[not hir. n prs0n. wer r u?] Not in here. In person. Where are you?

[wer r u?] Where are you?

[5th flr. Avr.] I am in the fifth floor. Audio-Visual room

 [30 mins.] I’ll be there in thirty minutes.

[k. c u.] Okay. I’ll see you then.

***

            “How can you fall in love with her?’

            I shook my head. They wouldn’t understand. Firstly, the question that I am much obliged to answer is that: How can I not fall in love with her?

            Corrine is the most fascinating person I’ve known in my short, miserable life. She’s patient and reckless. She’s funny and sexy. Corrine pushes the entire known button to annoy me and still, she makes me laugh. She understands my troubles and chases my pain away. She mocks me and yet, she’s the first person to fight for me. She believes in me.

So, how can I not fall in love with her?

“She’s your teacher. She’s old. Ms. Chan is surely taking advantage of you.”

Corrine Chan is my teacher. She is twenty-three years old; just a few years older than me. But she never took advantage of me. She took care of me. I am the one who caused her troubles. What I feel for her wasn’t motivated by her maturity or career. I love her because she made me feel important specially that my own family neglects me.

I don’t simply idolize her. Whenever I look at her, her age and her profession are the things that I have been trying to ignore because it made me remember that I shouldn’t.

“It’s wrong.”

Why? How was it wrong? When did love become wrong? I love her. In my heart of hearts, I know that she too love me as much as I do.  So, how can it be wrong?

“You’re a kid. You’re her student. It’s wrong – professionally and personally wrong. It’s even considered illegal.”

Do you really think I care? And what I feel for her isn’t childish. Those who don’t understand us are immature. Or maybe envious. They just couldn’t accept that fact that two people can be happy more than them.

I love her. She loves me.

That’s that.

“What were you thinking?”

Nothing. I only feel.

***

“What did you do? What have you been telling people?”

Nick shook his head, his brow thick in one line.  “What’s wrong?”

Everything! I wanted to scream at him but I knew that it wouldn’t solve anything nor help me in anyway. I felt like crying. Actually, I’ve been crying a lot these past days. And my emotion’s been kind of a roller coaster since Monday – I was angry, betrayed, incredulous, hurt, curious, and then back to being angry again. I wouldn’t have been bothered by the circus if I only I wasn’t the clown.