Ruby x Lapis (Rubis)

The First Episode: Navy moves in

It was a normal day, one just like the others. But... something seemed strange. There was a weird light in the sky. It's falling. oof it just fell 😂. I wonder what it is... Maybe they'll find out.

fortnite lapis pov lol

Hm... I wonder what that big, unusual, bright, loud thing is. I sure do hope it isn't a red, short gem from Homeworld with dark red square-shaped hair, because it would wreck my day if it were that. I asked Peridot if she knew what it was.

-  "Hey, Peridot... Do you know what that light is?"

-  "I don't know. It doesn't matter right now, Lapis. I don't care about it."

-  "Oh well. Maybe Steven will find out... Let's just get back to farming." (in Minecraft)

Suddenly, I heard something that sounded like Steven's voice.

-  "holy shit I just predicted that wtf,"  I said.

-  "bitch wtf"  Peridot responded, completely congealed in confusion, shock, and bruh moment.

Steven came with someone behind him.

-  "Hi Lapis (and peridot but i dont rlly care bout u lol)"

Peridot unfroze for a second and glanced at me.

-  "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."

Steven resumed the conversation and showed us the person behind him.

-  "Navy said she wanted to live on Earth!"

When he had said that, my mind immediately switched everything back to negative thoughts.

-  "holy shit, I predicted that as well, I am on fire rn lol wtf happened"

Suddenly, Snufkin, the character from the Moomin series, stormed into the room and shouted,

-  "Where's Moomin?!"

We all looked at him and quickly started clapping. The entire population of Beach City stood up from their seats (if they were standing they just stood harder) and started clapping. The loud sound coming from Beach City was starting to deafen me and soon my non-existent eardrums burst. Peridot, Ruby, Snufkin, and Steven screamed at the sight of the blood pouring through my hair and I just said, oblivious to what was going on,

-  "What?"

Snufkin started to play Megalovania on his harmonica, and soon, Beach City began to sing it. Either they made up lyrics for the song or just made 'doot' noises in the melody of the well-known song. This made more countries, near or far, start to clap. You could hear it in (fuckin, idk) Africa, England, France, Spain, Portugal, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia and Russia. Snufkin abruptly stopped his harmonica and then the clapping and singing stopped. The blood pouring down from my ears clung to my head and then Ruby began to FUCKING LICK HER HAIR, WHAT THE FUCK RUBY ARE YOU OKAY. But then, things got worse. Ruby got stuck to my head. Peridot and Steven were running around the farmland like wild animals, screeching to the melody of 'Fortnite Default Dance from Forntite'. Then, a white thing appeared and it began to VIOLENTLY MAKE OUT WITH SNUFKIN AND I WAS CONFUSED AS HELL. Since Ruby's brain was connected to mine,(u know bcause like she stuck to my head???) I could tell that she was thinking of doing the same with me. I looked behind me and saw Steven crying. 

-  "yo, steven, y u cryin?"

-  "B-Because... Sn-Snufkin-Chan seems to not like me... OH GOD..."

-  "Don't worry, Steven. I'll drown the fucker. You'll get him back."

Steven's face lit up with joy. Oh god, it's getting too bright. HOLY SHIT IT'S FUCKING BLINDING STEVEN STOP PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU- HE IS ASCENDING WHAT DO I DO??? SHIT SHIT HELP PLEASE

I then threw some water at his face. His light began to fade away. It's super effective! Steven immediately descended from the heavens. I turned around to face Snufkin and pushed him aside. The white creature below me was cowering in fear, so I was hesitant to kill him. I shook my head and dragged the water from the pool closer to me. Steven and Peridot watched, eyes lit up with joy.

-  "Wait, wait, just tell me your name so we can make a grave for you or something."

-  "Oh, um, my name's Moomin."

I was shocked. 

-  "THE MOOMIN?"

-  "Wow, I can't believe I'm drowning Moomin from the Finnish cartoon, Moomin."

-  "Yeah, now can you make it qu-"

-  "Made in about 1930, by Tove Jansson."

The area got silent. Even the animals, the wind, and the plants. It was like a deafening silence until Moomin spoke up.

-  "Uh, yeah. Anyway, can you make it quick? I only came here to ask Snufkin if he knew how to make Sniff shut up,"

-  "And I can already hear his yelling from here. 'Moomin, Joxter is trying to sexually harass me!'"

I looked around.

-  "Yeah, I can't hear anything. Anyway, I'm just gonna... drown you."

-  "Thank you so m-"

His voice became muffled as soon as I put the water around his head.

I looked over at Snufkin and I could tell that he was crying his heart out. I was confused as to why he was doing so.

-  "Hey, S... Snotkan. Why are you crying?"  Peridot asked.

-  "Lapis killed my husband,"

Peridot sighed in relief.

-  "Oh, thank god. That kid was getting annoying."

I could hear the sound of... um... Snotken's heart breaking.

Oh well. It's just the love of his life. It's just the man he dedicated his entire life to. It doesn't really matter.

Press f for my man snufkin