Fearful || Downton Abbey

Part 19: Anna Bates

I stare at the clotting blood on my palm and sigh. I try the door again but it's still locked. I stare out the window, watching the world go dark. I hear the gong and wince, I should be getting Mary ready but instead I am trapped... Useless, you're so useless the voice taunts and I shudder. I glance at the glass on the floor You know you want to The voice whispers as I pick up a shard, admiring it in the setting sunlight. I roll up my sleeves and grimace as the glass digs into my skin. I keep cutting deeper and deeper until I finally pass out, collapsing to the floor, finally free from my pain and the harshness this world holds.... I blink in the bright lights as my eyes open. I shift in the bed... Wait! I'm in a bed? How did I get here? I glance around and my eyes land on a praying Mary, by my side. She looks so worried. "Mary?" I croak and she starts "Anna!" She exclaims "Oh thank heavens you're alive" she kisses me and hugs me tight. Suddenly everything that happened came flashing back into my head and I pull away from her sharply "Go away" I snap and she flinches "I'm sorry" she murmurs her face falling "I'm sorry I hurt you Anna. I love you so much. I'm so sorry". I grasp her hand suddenly "It's alright. I love you too. I'm sorry for the things I said. Mr Bates... "I trail off and Mary snarls "He's gone" and I let out the breath I had been holding "He's gone?" "He's gone, he's never coming back" Mary replies and I smile. The door opens and Lord and Lady Granthem come in "We heard you were awake Anna" Cora smiles softly at me and I bow my head "Thank you Milady" I reply and Cora laughs "You must stop with that Anna..." I glance at Mary who grins at me "They know?" I ask and Mary nods "They know" she states and I smile again before I gently kiss Mary again, my world full of happiness again and I realise suddenly that for the first time since Green happened, I am genuinely free...