Part 1
Chapter 1
Liam
There we go again. Another day that I will have to spend listening to Mr. Warren's shit talk. He thinks it will help me, he think he knows everything about me and therefore is able to get me, what he calls it, acclimatized to my situation but I call it the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. He doesn't know anything about me. What he knows is just enough to keep him occupied and I have to say I quite enjoy him struggling with finding the right things to say. Oh I see you Mister Therapist, you are not as good as you think you are. Although Warren does surprise me every time I come there with some kind of new bullshit talk he has come up with. I do have to give him some credit for that. Max sends me here to get rid of me, I know that for a fact and it seriously doesn't even bother me anymore. I would rather be here than spend my days at school and then come to the place that I'm supposed to call home with my piece of shit stepfather there. Yeah, my life is so much fun, I am seriously loving it.
"-and so I think you should focus on what you want to accomplish in life, Liam. Set goals for yourself. At a certain moment you will have to move on from what happened and-" As his words fill my ears the anger inside me ignites. He has triggered it again and that's something I can't seem to stand. I stand and just as I am about to speak I slam my hand on his desk which surprises him and makes his shoulders shudder. "Don't you dare to finish that sentence! You have no idea what's going on here Warren," I say quietly but the anger in my voice makes him flinch and he's staring at me wide eyed as if I have never done this before. You would have expected that he would have gotten used to my reactions after two months of work. I start to make my way to his office door but just as I'm about to reach the door his voice halts me. "Liam we are not done here, sit you ass back down here right now," he's speaking with power but he keeps his voice calm. I turn around and his eyes are boring daggers into me. "I'm not your enemy here Liam, I'm trying to help you but if you don't let me I can't do that." He says while keeping his eyes focused on me. Does he seriously think that this will work, what an piece of a bullshit therapist. "Let's get this straight, I don't want to be here, I don't need your help and most importantly I don't want to you to ever bring her up again." I say without showing any form of emotion because he simply doesn't deserve it. I turn back toward the door and start to walk out. "See you tomorrow Liam," those are the last words I hear from him as I walk out of his office and outside into the raw and icy winter weather. What a classic way to end our sessions.
As I park my jeep in front of the house I can see that the lights are still on. Max is home. Just what I needed right now. As I walk inside I can immediately smell the odor of a women's perfume. He brought another one of his whores here. It's like his ritual: he gets drunk and brings some woman here just for his pleasure, that bastard. Even I can tell that there is something wrong with that but do I care? No. It's that simple. I make my way to the living room and there he is, sitting on the couch with that woman on his lap while the heavy sent of alcohol ligers in the air around them. He doesn't even seem to notice me over the loud music blasting through the speakers and so I make my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. "Liam, my boy! Bring me that bottle would ya?" he speaks up in a tone that's just too friendly. Not noticing that he's drunk would be impossible. I just ignore his comment and start making my way to the stairs when I hear his disgusting voice fill my ears once again. "Liam! Get back here you piece of- " he pulls the woman of off him and I can hear her start to object, "oh stop with that bullshit! Get out! Get out of my house!" he groans and starts to walk in my way. Something must have upset him awfully tonight, it's not that often that he gets in such a poor mood to bring the women here. That business is dealt with elsewhere. Once again, I ignore him and walk up to my room. But then his words halt me in my step. "You know, she wasn't any better than the- these whores. The only thing she loved was the crack, Liam- you- you know it's true!" No, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Don't listen to him Liam. He didn't know the real her, just the fucked-up version of her who couldn't stop that eventually took her life. And all that is because of him. It's his fault Liam, not yours. If she wouldn't have ever met him everything could have turned out differently. If she wouldn't have been there that day. Mother, what have you done, why. "You didn't know her Max! Don't mention her again, ever." I yell back at him. He's standing at the bottom of the stairs with a bottle in his hand with that knowing evil smirk on his face because he knows what he does to me. But it won't last long, he's losing this never-ending battle between us and he doesn't even know. Because, I don't care anymore.
The next day isn't much different. Max is hung over, that's no surprise. I make sure my teachers mark my attendance so I don't have any more unneeded trouble on my hands. I smirk back at a few lustful stares that the girls are giving me because why the hell not. And I drive to Warren's office with even more disgust then yesterday. Not having to be in the same house as Max is the only reason I still go there. I walk into the building and as I round the corner I can hear soft sniffing behind the girls toilet room. Probably some girl who is having a break down because of what Warren has told her. I can hear her soft words and hiccups come out of her mouth. "No Lan, calm down, nothing is happening you are okay, yes you can breathe, just- just- " I'm focused on what she's saying. Each word, each hiccup, each breath...And suddenly the door opens and crashes right into face. I stubble backward a bit and then the pain hits me. Shit, this girl has some anger in her. My hand comes to cover my forehead but I notice her walk past me because her sweet sent hits my senses. Okay great, she didn't even notice me here, that's a first. That leave a on my forehead. Thanks for that. I look behind me and just see her curved body storm out of the front doors of the building. She just left but something about her still lingered in the air.
Luce
Breaking the speed limit probably wasn't a very good idea, definitely not when your dad is a cop. But I just had to get out of that place, it's no good to me. I know that Mr. Warren had good intentions but this is not working for me how can he not see that? Asking those stupid questions that neither he nor I know the answer to. It just drivers me mad and gives me a headache at the end of our session.
I hear a car stop in front of our house just as I'm about to close the door. My dad. I rush inside the house from the frosty winter wind that feels like needles poking into my skin. As I shut the front door I'm greeted with my mother's sweet voice, "Luce, honey! Would you come over here and help me with the baking? You are gonna love these cookies! How did it go?" Her enthusiastic voice sounds from the kitchen and immediately my body relaxes, I exhale a breath that I feel like I have been holding since I left for therapy. She is the only person that truly understand me. As I arrive in the kitchen I see the kitchen island filled with boxes of Christmas cookies and trays that have just come out of the oven. The sweet smell if filling the air and I can't get enough of it. It reminds me of my childhood. She looks up at me and pulls me into a hug. "How did it go baby?" she asks softly as I pull away and look at her. I don't want to lie to her but telling her the truth wouldn't make her nor me any happier. It was my dad that convinced her of doing this, that me going to therapy would be good for me. First I thought so as well, I thought that he wanted the best for me. Oh, let me tell you, I was wrong. He isn't doing this for me but for himself. How would it look in the eyes of the citizens of a small town where everyone knows each other that the daughter of the head of the police department is a psycho. How would that look? People would start talking, making up stories, making him look bad and irresponsible. His family has to be perfect. All what he's doing is to make himself look as the best husband and even a better father. My strong despise for him is growing and mom knows it. Moms know such stuff, they can feel it from miles away. Her eyes fill with sadness and with that I know that she knows the answer to het question.
The front door opens and I hear the heavy footsteps echo through the house. He's home.
