Whats wrong with me?

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At school, I almost broke down. A kid kept being mean to me and I just couldn't take it. Everyone at school is at least a little mean to me. Some more than others. One of my teachers is worried about me, it's kinda nice to know that one person cares about me. So many people in the world and I was the one stuck in hell barely moving forward. Why is everything so easy for me? Most things just click for me I guess but them why is everything easy for me? I hate my body so much. What the hell is wrong with me. I can't seem to just need help and when I do I just can't ask for help. I'm always shaking. Suicidal since age nine and hating myself. I just want to have a peaceful day where no one is mean to me and I'm there not just drifting through the day I want to have a nice day for the first time in a long time. I have a hard time trusting people for reasons that I can't explain.

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