Stupid Percy Jackson Fanfiction Moments

Cell Phones and Apollo

Cell Phones.
Where do the demigods get monster-proof cell phones from. Were they just siting there like:
Percy: One fish, a Two fish, Blue fish, Blue fish
Annabeth: Percy? It's One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish
Percy: Nu-uh. See it says here-
-insert magical bright flash here-
Percy: OOH DEMIGOD PROOF CELL PHONES! IMMA TEXT MY MOMMY AND PAUL AND TYSON AND...
It just makes NO sense to me. Even Leo isn't that powerful.
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That moment in a fanfiction when a demigod is blessed by 500 Greek gods, 7,657 Roman gods, and then is related to Bella Swan, Tris Prior, Tobias Eaton, Katniss Everdeen, Clove, Thor, Captain America, Nick Fury, Jean Grey, and some weird volcano gods from Planet 964,213.
*facepalm*
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Chaos Percy Jackson Fics.
'Nuff said.
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In future PJO fics, why does Percabeth's always have to be named Luke or Charles?
Percy: Hey Annabeth, let's name our only son after the traitor-turned-hero you had a crush on even though he tried to kill me multiple times and even tried to get you to join him.
(A/N: No hate on Luke.)
Annabeth: No let's name him after a son of Hephaestus who, even though he heroically died, has an overused name for our son in other fanfictions.
(A/N: or on Beckendorf)
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That moment in fanfictions, when people spell Beckendorf like Bekindurph
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Why is Apollo always acting like a stupid teenager. He is able to see everything, I think he should be able to act more godly than:
Apollo: I write terrible haikus and don't even know it.
Apollo: Sup, Huntress. Gurrrrl, hola at the bae. YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Apollo: I'm sexy and I know it.
Apollo: (singing) The wheels on the sun chariot go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round. The wheels on the sun chariot go 'round and 'round, all over the world.
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How
Are

Demigods
Able

To
Travel
To
Camp Half-Blood
In
2

Seconds?
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Also why is it always Camp Half-Blood? Why never Camp Jupiter?
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How was it? Criticism is always welcome (ColoradoColumbine). I'm just trying this out, and ideas are always welcome.