Well, Fuck.

Chapter Eight

For the second time that night, you wake up in a hospital bed. You feel sore all over, your arms hurt, and moving feels like a monumental task.

You look around the hospital room, seeing Peter hadn't left, instead chose to sit in one of the plastic chairs in the room. he was asleep, snoring softly and hunched over your bed.

Not wanting to wake him, you continue looking around and nearly jump in fright at seeing a dark shadow in the corner of the room. Bucky stands, nearly giving you a heart attack, and silently walks over to you.

"Hey." He says plainly.

"Hi." You reply, voice scratchy as you try to whisper so as not to wake peter.

"You really scared us, babydoll. No, listen; I know it's not your fault. Even I get panic attacks that I can't control sometimes. I'm talking about the self harm." Bucky begins, cutting you off and taking the wind out of your sails as a reply sits firmly on the tip of your tongue.

"I didn't do it for attention, Bucky. I did it so I could feel something outside of the screaming in my head. I'm depressed! And how was I supposed to tell tony to take me to a doctor without it getting into the papers and ruining his life?! I couldn't go to a doc for this kind of shit, or I'd be locked in a fucking asylum!" You whisper furiously.

"Y/N." He starts, that firm tone telling you to shut up while you're ahead. "I just said I'm not blaming you. Let's start small. What WAS your intention that landed you in here anyway?"

"I was cutting but I guess I did it too much and wasn't careful. I must have lost blood cuz I passed out. And I'm sorry if I worried anyone." You mumble, feeling pathetic.

"It's ok, babydoll. Depression is a disease. But now you can get treatment, get someone to talk to who can help you, maybe meds if you need them." Bucky said.

"I don't want to become a zombie...I've seen kids that are so doped up on their meds, or were given too high a dose, Bucky! I can't lose what little bit of myself I have left. And what happens when this breaks in the papers? Tony will be pissed. It'll ruin his image. "

You were cut off from saying more when Peter woke up, instantly calming the panic you felt rising in your chest again.

"Hey angel, what'd I miss?" He asks, voice rough from sleep.