My life as Okuhle😏

CHAPTER TWO

Beginning of the fifth grade was so amazing I remember waking up and I knew I was about to open another new chapter in my life. When I got to school I realized my best friend Simnikiwe had changed schools that was really painful for me as I was no longer close with the rest of my friends. I guess I was on my own as usual,by this time I was kind of used to people walking out on me,why did it suprise me that she did the same thing. I mean my own dad walked out on me as he was not ready to pull up his big boy pants and man up to help raise he chose to run away. Till this day I questioned myself why he bothered staying the first couple of years after my birth if he knew he was going to ditch. I guess he is the only who can answer this question.

I entered the school gates and my eyes immediately met a familiar face it was my grade 4 maths teacher Mrs Malunguza she had been asked to teach grade 5 and 6. Oh boy my heart skipped a beat I knew I was not going to be alone she was there for me all the time.

Most people whom I had attended with in grade 4 were still pretty much there which was great seeing as how life seemed to change once you start grade 5. My crush was still there Samkelo Mhlongo I remember his smile when our eyes collided he winked at me and damn I knew I seriously liked him.
I then got allocated to a class, my register was Miss Mgwili I hope you said it correctly seeing how she used get pissed if you mispronounced it. My new class was amazing as I was in the same class with crazy people who knew what fun was and at that point in time I was focused on having thee time of my life nothing else mattered.

In my primary school grade R-4 were separated from 5-7 they both were in different places which was great for me, my baby brother Avethandwa(he is loved) could never know what I was up to and tell my grandma I had all the freedom that I longed for.

When I got to grade 5 I changed totally I became shy and sly I became crazy about guys and at the same time girls. I had a serious crush on one of my male teachers but I never told anyone about it. I am sure many of you are already criticizing me for crushing on a male teacher who was old enough to be my father. You see he was old enough to be my father that is what I wanted a father's love that's all. I did everything just to get his attention as I was amazed at how much he cared about all of us. That is what I also wanted for him to love me not hurt me the way my father did by leaving me.

During the cause of the year I started dating Samkelo Mhlongo and made new friends Unam Sebenza,Anathi Magaqa and many more. My friendship with Mihlali was still doing the most. My friendship with Unalo seemed to be on a rollercoaster it had its ups and downs but we really cared about each other and we never had the courage to admit it. My friendship with Amukelani seemed to blossom as we became closer and closer by day.

My relationship with Mrs Malunguza became stonger and stronger. She meant a lot to me me and she still does. Along the lines of  the year I started showing signs of obsession to guys. I guess I was afraid of losing them and allowing them to break my heart and leave me to pick up the pieces of my heart and repair it alone.

Samkelo was always there for me he cared for me and supported me through everything but my greediness figured it was just not enough I needed more and more. 

Everyone envied our relationship as we were always together I remember even telling my grandmother about it and I felt like she was way too old to understand my feelings for Samkelo but till today I wonder was it love that I felt for him or it was just lust. 26 July it was my birthday and my boyfriend Samkelo bought me a birthday cake it was beautiful he had an eye for beautiful things.

Around October 29 I had my first period I was very scared it was on a Friday my good friends Unam and Amukelani gave me advice on how to carry my self and what to do and what not to do. Knowing my grandmother she sent me to my father's home so that I could be thought how to behave a girl. I mean my friends had already done that so I didn't see the need to go there.

I know some of you are saying she was just being an ass about it. I mean the anger I had towards my father made me extremely bitter and rude to everyone.

Most people never understood why I hated my father so much. I'll explain why, growing up he was there in my life and I loved him so much he was my everything and I guess when he left me he took a chunk of me along with him. He left me hurt, angry,bitter and sad. I was left alone to pick the small pieces of myself and try to figure out who I really was without him because I was really lost.

As for mom we didn't have much of a relationship as I was just so selfish I never really took into consideration that she did so many things for me but I was unappreciative of all she did for me.