My life as Okuhle😏

CHAPTER FIVE🤐

Finding out I was going to be staying my mom was the best feeling ever. I was excited but I guess I never really prepared myself for the new journey I was about to embark I mean I had never stayed with her because she was either working or in school.

I won't lie I was scared I mean all of these years I was used to doing my own thing now she was going to be on my case about every little thing I did. I mean I knew the type of person I was I liked messing around and having all type of fun.

I was seriously not about to let her run my high school experience. She was not going to tell me anything about the way I behaved, it was solely my choice.

As it was only few weeks left untill school I stayed at home just trying to familiarize myself with the place.

Not only was I going to a new life but my entire life was about to be changed totally I now had three other big siblings.

Trust me when I say I've never really been a fan of people I guess all these years I promised myself to never open up to people and allow myself to love anyone.

Many of you would say would say I was just being dramatic,but I chose to allow myself to believe it was better being dramatic than being hurt.

I was not about to allow someone else break my heart once again no I wasn't.

My three siblings had not arrived yet so it was just my mother,my brother and step dad.

So I had to adjust and get used to having a dad and mom at the same time. Bare in mind they were all churchgoers but I wasn't .

I actually didn't understand this whole church thingy I mean it was boring not my type of thing.

I remember one Sunday I actually woke up with the desire to go to church it was as if something had been ignited in me there was a spark.

When I got to church I was actually overwhelmed with everything but I just feel in love with the worship team because I secretly sang and no one knew that,,I felt like it was home oh boy what a great feeling.

The pastor started preaching and I felt as though he was talking to me I cried.

He then asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior funny enough I stood up and caught the glance of my mother and step dad,,,I was angry because I didn't want her to see I was changing but slowly I was.

I went to front and he prayed for me I busted out in tears.

A fast was then declared and I willingly accepted to do it.

The next day it was a Monday I went to church for prayer I badly wanted it.

I got really involved with the church I mean a lot .

I then started liking the choir leader she was so headstrong and such a beautiful voice.

We became friends with her I think it's because she was also xhosa.

I started going to church even when there was no prayer just so we could talk and I enjoy it.

One Saturday after meeting with her as I was on my way home I met a guy his name was John he drove a cool car Audi and he was 30 years old.

I mean I wanted some excitement and I believed he had that.

I never told him my age because I knew he was definitely going to freak out.

I really didn't need that.

Trust me when I say this guy was a good person and I seriously doubt that he would've asked for my numbers if he knew I really was just a young kid.

One random day I decided to just let him know of my age,,,oh boy he just told me if I was a bit older he would be with me.

I guess that was the end of our relationship.

Once again I was so bored,,,,I mean the type of person I am makes it very difficult to make friends.

You would say I am the choosy type.

Or I am just the type of person who is misunderstood all the time.

One thing I've learned is that most people tend to judge me even way before they know my name.

Many of my friends say that I look scary,rude and don't take trash type of person.

I guess it just took time to be able to build this mask.

To many people I become rude so that I can hide how insecure I really am.

I push people away because I am extremely scared of getting hurt.

Honestly you would say all bark no bite.

As days passed I began to notice my mom's tummy was growing,,,my first reaction was I hope it's a girl.

I mean I badly wanted a sister I know there was Lois and Priscilla my big step sisters but I wanted a sister I was going to grow up with and learn each other along the way.

I mean one person I enjoyed growing up with was Sisipho,so she is my grandmothers brothers child which makes her my aunt I think. The cool part was that she was always ahead of me with 4/5 years.

So it was always us against the world. We did everything together so now me having to adjust to new siblings was never part of my life plan.

Honestly like every other person who has step siblings I just felt like they were ruining my life.

Maybe they also felt I was also ruining theirs.

If you know me. Then you know that I am very crazy and outspoken.

I never let anyone else tell me what to do.