Writer's Recipe vol. 3 (2018)

HIDDEN TRUTH

By : Muhd Harith bin Khairi

When I was sixteen, I studied in a boarding school. While there were so many reasons why I chose to attend a boarding school, probably the strongest of them was that I felt so annoyed with my parents at home. I realise some people would say that I am ungrateful child but I couldn't care less. Since that unforgettable incident happened, I felt it was better if I did not exist in this world at all. That's why I prefer to go to the boarding school. At least there, I have friends who give more attention toward me than my parents.

One fine morning, I was going to school happily as usual with my friends. When I entered the class I felt strange because everyone was focused on doing their homework. I approached one of my friends to ask what was going on.

"What's with the serious look, dude?" I asked Khairil, the boy who sat beside me but he completely ignored my question.

"Don't you remember?" he suddenly spoke after a long. Awkward silence, but his eyes remained glued to his book. "We have to submit our English assignment today."

It then dawned upon me that I had not done the assignment at all! To make the matter even worse, the task was given by Mr. Jamal, the teacher who everyone in school knew to be the strictest and fiercest teacher. I still have nightmares about what happened to me the last time I didn't finish his work. However, it was too late for me now.

Wham!!! The teacher slammed his inches thick textbook on the table, sending shockwaves into my heart. By then, my heart was already pounding furiously. There was a brief moment of suspense-filled silence before he cast a murderous look at me.

"This is the third time you haven't finished my work in two months. Have I given you too much work till you can't finish it on time?" His voice boomed like the sound of thunder as he scolded me.

Fear gripped my heart. I honestly thought three essays; each of them being at least five pages long, would definitely be classified as 'too much work', but I knew I had better keep my mouth shut. Argh!! What a stressful teacher. Sometimes I wonder how my friends could finish it on time. I knew I couldn't even if I tried.

Mr. Jamal stepped towards me slowly. Every step he took was torturous. I felt like a criminal waiting to be hanged! When he finally stood beside me, I fully expected to be slapped across the face, but instead he pulled my hand and dragged me outside the class. I thought it couldn't be any worse but I was dead wrong. I was going to the Principals' office. A single word appeared in my mind: EXPULSION.

I was told to wait outside the Principal's office while Mr. Jamal went in, presumably to complain about my list of misbehaviours to the Principal. I couldn't hear anything, but through the glass door, I could see him flailing his arms like a madman. He was clearly furious. Then again, I was never his favourite student since he discovered I was the one who put the thumbnails on his seat earlier this year. All the while though, the Principal looked surprisingly calm.

After some time, Mr. Jamal came out of the room and I was told to enter. I took a deep breath. When I was told that won't be expelled, I breathed a sense of relief. However, I wasn't about to be let off the hook so easily either. The Principal tasked me to do something which will lead to an event that I would never forget for as long as I live. He ordered me to clean the toilet – and I have to say, I have never seen any place filthier than the toilets in my school

Immediately, I was sent to do my punishment. The toilet truly lived up to its reputation. The floor was grimy, the walls filled with obscene graffiti and the light was flickering like it was a haunted room. The worse thing by far is the stench of stale urine and feces in the air. I literally had to hold my breath so that I wouldn't puke.

After a while, my nose sort of got accustomed to the odious stench and I was able to start cleaning. I was scrubbing the floor near one of the cubicles when I heard a mysterious beeping sound inside it. I opened the door and saw something flashing from atop the water tank. I reached my hand to grab it and found a strange headphone that had cool light effects emanating from it. It sound illogical I know, but something about the headphone compelled me to put in on my head. As soon as I did so, I felt like I was being sucked into a black hole. I wanted to scream but my voice was stuck in my throat. My head spinning. Eventually, I lost all sense of consciousness.

When I came to, I was in found myself in the middle of a concrete jungle. Was I dreaming? Suddenly, I saw someone who looked a lot like me, but younger. For some reasons, he couldn't see me. I knew him well. He was me when I was fifteen. Suddenly, my life story was presented in front of me like I was watching a movie

* * * * *

One day, I went out from home as usual to hang out with my buddies. Being teenagers who were ignored by their parents at home, they were a rebellious bunch. Most of them smoke. I didn't because I knew there are a lot of harm from this bad habit but they were slowly influencing me to. That day, Zaid, our so-called ringleader had forced me to smoke. He took a cigarette and put in in my mouth. Right at that moment, I saw someone familiar approaching me – my dad.

' Slap!! Dad's hand hit my left cheek hard. I was dumbfounded. With a voice as loud as thunder, my father bellowed, "Go home now!!" His fierce voice sent the gang running helter skelter. Embarrassed, angry, yet also sad at the same time - these feelings were alternating my heart.

That night, I could see myself sitting at the edge of my bed in tears mixed with hatred, anger and sadness. Dad is such a hypocrite! Why was dad so angry when he himself was a smoker? The young me cried his heart out until he fell asleep on the bed. Moments later, I saw someone opening the door. My father. He entered my room and approached me. He sat beside me and pat my head lovingly. Then the word that came out from his mouth shocked me. He spoke very softly so it was not very clear, but the headphone voice came out clearly from the headphone I was wearing.

"The only reason why I got so angry with you is because I want to see you grow up and be a successful person in future. I could not believe that you would do something foolish like that. I trust you. I know you wouldn't do such a thing on your own will. I know you would hate me because you think I am a hypocrite, but no dad in this world wants his son to smoke," tears began to flow on my dad's face.

"I love you more than anything else in the world." For the first time in my life, I heard my dad saying those words to me.

Thinking about my resentment towards my parents, regret filled my heart. I fell on my knees. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout. I wanted to hug my dad. Suddenly, my head became light and I lost consciousness again.

* * * * *

The next time I woke up, I was neither at my home nor the school toilet. Looking at the green clothes on my body, I guess I was at the hospital. What happened? I wondered. I felt my hand being held by someone – my mom was sleeping on chair beside my bed. When I tried to pull my hand, she woke up, stood up, and hugged me tight. She told me how worried she was after she got a call from school that I was found in a state of coma in the toilet. They assumed I must have fallen and hit my head or something.

A man entered the room. My father. His face was devoid of emotion as usual. That's why I never noticed how much he love me, I thought. But then, he approached me and hugged me. I could feel my shoulder wet with his tears. I put my arms around him and let my tears fall.