Pick A Side

Part 9

Two girls were sitting on a bench under a barren tree when you walked past them. "That's her, that's her...", one of them whispered to the other. You sauntered on soullessly, as if there were invisible shackles affixed to your ankles. The howling wind reminded you that you have yet to experience the coldest.

Self-doubt, self-blame, self-victimisation; you wanted to put all that down. This time round, you were certainly neither the perpetrator nor the victim, but it was still arduous for you to stagger down the walkways towards the main cluster of university building.

You stopped at the doorsteps of the student office, dreading the fact that you were about to enter alone.

When you had opened your eyes that morning, it didn't feel this lonesome. There was a recognisable sound palpitating in your ears. Maybe you still wouldn't recognise his handwriting, maybe you still wouldn't recognise his scent or his warmth, but from now on you were sure you would recognise his heartbeat, because it reminded you of this safety, no matter how fleeting.

"Where are you going?", Taehyung asked after you got up, preparing yourself to head out.

"To the student office... I just want to see if they found anything new and to clarify that I'm not the one they are looking for. I realised I didn't really make it clear the last time", you spoke in a soft voice.

"Good thing I don't have classes this morning", he yawned while stretching his back and legs. You walked over to where his coat hung at the window.

"You don't have to come with me", you replied, taking his coat off the hanger, it was mostly dry by now.

"Why? I've got time anyway, let's go together", he pouted slightly.

You held out his coat, "Thanks for everything last night. At least now I feel like I shouldn't doubt or victimise myself. This time I did nothing wrong, and I can't be the one cowering here. Whether Jihyun believes me or not, I have to make things clear."

"Yeah ok, so let's go toge-", he stood up while insisting.

"I can do it myself", you cut him off short, "I have to... you won't always be here."

He reached out to take the coat from your hand. You hadn't let go, and he doesn't pull it over. "I can if you want me to", he whispered, words shaky.

Facing the glass door outside the student office by yourself, you regretted sending Taehyung away with the excuse that he needed to get himself ready for class later. You thought the misunderstanding was only with Jihyun. What you didn't know was how the entire world seems to have taken the side that perpetuates you as the culprit.

This feeling was all too familiar.

The automatic glass door suddenly glides open and you see two pairs of shoes walk out. Jihyun looked at you inscrutably, but you frowned in perplexion at the person next to her.

"Y/N", he did not look the least bit startled, "are you here to see Ms. Helen too?", Haejoong enquires in his gentle tone as usual.

You decided to put your bewilderment aside for the moment and took a step towards Jihyun. She uncontrollably stumbles an inch backward, Haejoong immediately side stepping an inch so that Jihyun was half-hidden behind him.

You stared up at him wide-eyed, wondering what on earth he was trying to do but he only gives you a look of assurance and concern as though telling you that he is doing this for your own good. He shook his head slightly as though advising you not to approach Jihyun right now.

"It's not me", you whispered with conviction at Jihyun. You felt like she didn't think it was you either from the way she looked unwaveringly into your eyes. But then you became unsure when she suddenly tugged at Haejoong's arms to indicate that she wanted to leave and he naturally escorted her away.