Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

35.

13 Weeks

Calum

"That went well, right?" Jes asks me, as she crawls into bed beside me later that night. The activities of the day have obviously affected her, her eyes are bright but are in contrast to the dark bags that loom beneath them.

"Yeah, baby. I think so. Did you feel differently?" She rolls over and lays her head against my chest. My hands move automatically to the long brown strands of her hair. My fingers twirl through her chestnut locks and she opens her mouth to reply but instead lets out a contented sigh, distracted by my simple display of affection.

After a moment, she seems to remember she was in the midst of a conversation.

"I don't know. I think mostly everyone was happy but, did you see Ash and KayKay?"

I frown as I think back to earlier today when we had made our announcement. I remember a flood of congratulatory messages, hand shakes, hugs, my mum's ecstatic smile. What I don't remember is Ash, my best friend, saying anything at all.

"No. I, I don't think Ash said anything to me at all now that I think about it."

"Yeah," she says softly. "Kay didn't speak to me either." she closes her eyes, the exhaustion seeming to overcome her. She's been running herself ragged the past few weeks trying to manager her business, take care of Paisley, our home, and her personal health has taken a backseat. I need to do a better job of reminding her to take it easy, for her sake and for our baby's.

Her breathing becomes even and I lose myself in my thoughts.

Why had Kay and Ash acted so weird? Were they not telling us something? Were they feeling left out, now that the rest of us were expecting? We considered them among our closest, if not our closest friends and it hurt to know that they hadn't had as much as a kind word to share with us upon learning our secret.

The longer I seethe the angrier I grow. I have half a mind to leave this room, drive across town, and demand an answer. Now that I think back, they hadn't even said goodbye, they'd just left. Were they not happy for us? The only thing holding me back from confronting Ashton is the angel sleeping in my arms.

As dusk turns to dawn I manage to contain my anger and distinguish my emotions to realize that more than anything, I'm hurt.

I rub at my eyes which I'm sure display, in obvious fashion, that I got no sleep last night. I shift Jes so that she will not be disturbed by my leaving our bed and crawl from beneath the covers. I throw on a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt before then bound down the stairs towards the garage.

I slide behind the wheel, my mind on auto-pilot as I drive towards Ash and KayKay's house. My mind scratches for any plausible explanation for the couples behavior but struggles to come up with one.

I text Ash when I pull into the driveway. I hadn't warned him I was coming but I know he's up. He always is and he's also always down for coffee. Only a few minutes pass before the front door swings open to reveal my best friend, who is looking surprisingly similar to me this morning.

"Hey." he says approaching me, his gaze fixed on the ground.

"Hey, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee with me?" My voice comes out unsure, my previous anger evaporating as I see that he's visibly upset.

"Yeah, I'll go." He mumbles walking around to the passenger side and collapsing into the seat.

I pull off and we ride in silence. I clear my throat as the quiet lingers and I become uncomfortable. For the first time ever I feel awkward around Ashton. I don't know what to say and he doesn't seem to either. I park the car across the street from our usual coffee place and we both file out the SUV.

We wait for the traffic to pass and jog across the road, entering the nearly empty cafe. The first time Ash speaks after entering my car is to give the barista his order. I give mine as well and pay for both sliding down the counter to wait for the drinks to be ready. I shove my hands in my pockets, rocking impatiently from my heels to my toes, hating the fact that I can't even seem to form words at the moment.

The man behind the counter signals that are drinks are ready, I scoop both of them up, handing Ash's his before leading the way to the exit. I don't head back to the car, instead turning left and walking towards the park he and I have jogged through many times before.

Finally, as we reach the entrance, I hear him sigh. "I'm sorry Kay and I got distant after the news last night and kind of ran out without saying goodbye to anyone."

"Honestly, Ash, what the fuck? You're our kid's godfather and you know how much we have been wanting this and you couldn't even say two words? You guys just bailed? Why? Help me understand because from where I'm sitting you just look like shitty friends right now."

"KayKay can't have kids."

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Every angry and rude thought I've had in the past few hours is wiped away and I immediately regret them.

"What do you mean?"

"You remember when we broke up for a little bit?"

I nod, trying to shove away the visual images of when Ash was the most broken I had ever seen him.

"She was trying to leave me. She knows how much I want to be a dad and she felt like she was denying me of that. I knew about everyone else's announcements before hand so we could, like, prepare, but we were blindsided by you guys and she got really upset so I took her home. I thought you of all people would understand."

He's not wrong. I should understand. Hell, I probably should have been able to piece this together or at least had it cross my mind.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you guys were like feeling left out and jealous and being petty." I admit.

"We do feel left out. We are jealous. But it's not because of why you were thinking."

"Is this why you told her you don't want to be married? That's pretty fucked up Ash." My voice fails to hide my disgust. If he told her he won't marry her because of her infertility I may have to punch him here in public.

"No, no. That was a completely separate fuck up I'm still trying to get us back on track from."

"So you do want to get married?"

"If it's with her. I only said that because in my own strange way I thought it would like take away some of the pressure. Or make her feel like she was giving me something I didn't know I wanted so she could feel like she got some kind of victory to maybe distract her from the kid thing, but the whole thing just backfired on me."

"I'm sorry, man." I don't know what else to say. I remember how devastated had been when we were having problems getting pregnant, and we already had a baby. I can't imagine losing the whole idea of ever having a baby that was half me and half the woman I love.

"It's fine. Well, I mean it's not fine, but we're starting to deal with it. We can always adopt but we're still grieving the idea of having our own biological kids and I'm sorry that that process hurt you and Jes yesterday."

"It's okay, mate. I'm sorry I was so insensitive. You're my best friend and I was just confused, I wish you would have told me but I know how these things go. Sometimes, you just have to learn to deal on your own, I get it."

He slurps at the remaining drops of coffee in his cup as we turn back towards the car.

An: Cashton fluff 🖤

Sorry my updates have been a little mower spaced out! It was the end of the nine weeks and I had to grade a ton of crap and actually have my life together.

We'll return to replace updates now hopefully!

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