It's in the little things: One-shots x2

Soft Sugg

Joe's POV:

After a whirlwind Christmas and new year down under, celebrating the Aussie way with my Aussie family, we have been brought back to reality with a bump with the thought of Dianne heading off on a UK-wide tour in a few days. Don't get me wrong, we are more than used to spending time apart with the previous tours, work commitments and opposing schedules but since August, we have been able to not only wake up together but we had been able to go to sleep beside each other every night- such a small comfort that changes everything. The thought of not sharing a bed, not being able to hold her and kiss her goodnight for a month, it really hurts; I know, I know i'm being dramatic and it is only four weeks with a day off every few days but I always miss her when she's away, it never gets easier. My constant train of negativity has been weighing on me all day and this shitty mood will not lift, no mater what I try and do. I can only hope that Dot and I can share a peaceful night together after she comes in from rehearsal, if she isn't too tired after her twelve hour dance day.

After spending two hours trying to edit some of the final Australia content, I flop back on the sofa in a huff and shove my laptop off my lap in frustration. Watching these happy memories, I should be filled with joy, happiness and love like I have been for the last month, all these adventures and this quality time with Dianne have been beyond special but right now these do nothing but make my heart ache. I want nothing more than to hold my girl tight and not let her go, settling for scrolling through her Instagram page instead, reacting to her newest post and suddenly remembering that I had promised her dinner tonight...and our fridge currently holds half an eggplant, an avocado and some not-so-magic bacon.

Great.

Well done Joseph.

Now i'm going to spend my evening stressing about what to cook her and she is going to be pissed at me for forgetting...again.

The sound of my beautiful girlfriend crashing through our front door, shouting a greeting and dropping her many dance bags on the floor around her before diving to fill the space beside me, nuzzling in close as she shrugs off the day she's had. "You're very quiet my little one, are you okay? Joseph? Earth to my love?" Way to go Joe, not even listened to a single word Dot has said since she has got home and now she has noticed; she is going to want to run away by the time tour comes around and what if she doesn't look back? Good one Joseph, just keep digging your own grave mate, wind up on your own again! "I'm really sorry darling, I was in a world of my own and honestly? I can't remember a word you have said. God, I'm sorry Dot." I mutter, pulling her closer to me before she can pull away, pressing a kiss to her hairline and playing with the tips of her hair in a feeble attempt to be a decent boyfriend. Surprisingly, she just giggles and flashes me that typical Buswell grin, "I knew you weren't listening... I've been talking about my undying love for Caspar for the last ten minutes and you just nodded and agreed you idiot! Just been one of those days, huh? What can I make you for dinner? Have we got anything in or can we just order in?" Shaking my lightly and swooping down to kiss her again, I place my own body over her tiny frame and wrap her in a tight hug, "Yeah...lets talk about ordering in, instead of your unrequited love for my best friend yeah? I promise i'll be a better boyfriend later and make it up to you but first? Food." I chuckle, showering her in more kisses, as many as I can give her.

"Oh make it up to me, will you Joseph? I can't wait for later then." She smirks, raising her eyebrows as she squirms underneath me, searching for her phone to order in.

Dianne's POV:

From the minute I came in, I could tell Joseph wasn't quite himself, distracted and distant almost but nevertheless, I make a beeline to the sofa and instantly curl up beside him, tracing a gentle pattern across his toned chest, under his t-shirt, whilst retelling my tales of the day to him. A few minutes in, I noticed how his attention had drifted once again and I take total advantage of the situation, "So yeah we were dancing this really sexy tango but oh my god it was so weird Joe, I couldn't get Caspar out of my head, like you have the most attractive friends and I don't really know how to say this... Joe? I think i'm in love with Casp. Like I love him Joseph, really love him." I splutter out, choking back my laughter as he mumbles and nods, "uh huh, sounds great Dot, lovely." With this, I can't help, bless his little soul! Eventually catching his attention, he apologises very quickly and attempts to distract me with kisses, cuddles and the offer of ordering the food of my choice but that doesn't hide the fact that deep down, Joseph isn't feeling himself and something is bugging him. We remained interlocked and lost in each others hold until the sound of the doorbell brought us back to reality and forced me to drag my aching body over to collect our food. As I plate up and grab the wine, Joe hovers behind me, never letting his hand leave my body and even though it is a bit of a hinderance, I allow it because I can tell he needs it.

With dinner finished and Joseph filling the dishwasher, I head upstairs to tidy my things away and get ready for bed. My plan is that I am going to tidy the room up, put away all my clothes, light some scented candles and slip into something a bit more comfortable. With the upcoming live tour, the dread of separation has slowly creeped into our relationship once again and I get the feeling that it is bothering Joseph more than he will admit. So tonight is all about him, whatever he needs and I am going to prove to him just how special he is to me. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of boyfriends, flings and relationships in the past but never the way Joseph loves me so i'm determined to make this last- I want this forever. Finishing up in the room and removing the remnants of today's makeup, I hadn't noticed that Joe had slipped into the room and had been watching me dance round with my makeup wipe like an idiot, "How long have you been there Joseph! Scared me! I'm nearly done, then i'm all yours." I grin, throwing the wipe in the bin, moisturizing and then sliding between the sheets to join him, lacing my fingers with his. Burying my head in his neck, I settle and wait for Joe to make the next move, this is his night and I can only hope that he will open up so I can help.

"Dot, are you awake? I'm so sorry for earlier and for not having dinner ready when I promised I would...I think things just got on top of me today. I really do love you but I understand if you are pissed at me, I don't blame you." Hearing the strain in his voice truly breaks my heart and sitting up, I rest one hand on his face, stroking it gently before joining our lips in a searing kiss, channelling all my love into our movements. "Joseph, look at me, come on. I'm not pissed, why would I be? We had the nicest Indian for dinner and neither of us had to cook- that's a result in my book! It means I had more time to cuddle with you before I disappear off on tour! What's going through that mind, what's been bothering you today?" I whisper, placing his head on my chest and massaging his scalp softly, just the way he likes. Sighing heavily, he relaxes under my touch and begins to unravel. "Oh Dot, I don't want you to go. I'm being selfish and I know we have got through it before and it's literally your job but I just miss you. I'm being stupid but I've not been able to shake this miserable feeling and it meant I wasn't there for you earlier and that makes me a shit boyfriend."

In this moment, I know exactly what I need to do. "Joseph Sugg. You soft, squishy man, the man who I am desperately in love with. Please stop beating yourself up. You are the most important person to me, probably the best boyfriend on the planet and yet you can't see any of that, can you? I love YOU Soft Sugg, you and all of you. Now, just listen to me yeah? I've actually been thinking about being away again too and when I get upset about it, I've made a list of my favourite things about you, things that make me smile and remind me just how lucky I am."

"But you aren't lucky, i'm just-"

"Oh SHUSH. Now, lets start at the beginning of the day, when we wake up beside each other, always wrapped in each other's embrace. The way you make me coffee every morning and know not to ask me questions until after I've had caffeine. Morning kisses and sleepy cuddles. Our little notes to each other, supporting each other in every single opportunity we get and remind each other that our love is real. The little cartoons you draw for me and sketches that I carry with me in my purse. The cute, soppy texts you send me late at night that I screenshot and keep in a special folder. The things you say Joseph, they matter to me. Telling me that i'm NOT stupid, that I look beautiful without makeup, wearing nothing but your jumpers and t-shirts and the way you embrace my flaws. I know the separation isn't pleasant, that you miss me and I miss you but when we reunite, remember how special that feeling is. I might not be physically beside you but i'm always here, I'll always be in your heart. And, i'll always leave you plenty of red and pink stains." I finish my mini-speech and lay my hand on his heart, feeling that familiar rhythm and the body it belongs to relaxes once again, pressing tiny kisses across my chest and up my collar bone.

"How do you always know how to make me feel better and know that i'm feeling crappy before I even admit it. You make me feel warm and fuzzy inside Buswell, you really do make me feel special. Now, I think I said something about making it up to you earlier, didn't I?" He mumbles, kissing his way along my neck and down my jawline as I wriggle underneath his gentle attack.

What do you do to me Joseph Soft Sugg.