Poetry

Horse Girl

Your remember that girl in elementary school that was obsessed with horses?

The one who galloped around the playground and whinnied.

She wore her rubber rain boots to class

and one time you watched her disentangle a strand of hay from her hair.

And when people asked her why that's all she could talk about-

She said she needs horses.

And everyone thought it was just an expression.

But now she's crying on the bathroom floor saying "please leave me alone I just need my horse."

Because she needs horses.

Because on the days her heart beats so fast her stomach curls

and her legs freeze in the slow sad effort to move them

The horse says "My shoulders are strong. They can carry you."

Because when she can't get out of bed in the morning, he still needs to eat.

Because horses walk 16 hours of the day

so when she is beside him she can't help but move forward.

Because when the feelings are too much and her heart can't take it

his heart is big and strong and beats for two.

Because when the tears come for no reason and people ask too many questions

The horse says "My shoulders are strong. You can hug them as tight as you need."

And she's still crying on the bathroom floor;

And she has a gun and a knife and a bottle of pills...

And a horse.

And he still needs to eat.

Because when food is difficult she can forget that it's hard to swallow-

when she's teasing him with a bite of his apple.

Because he is sad when she leaves him in a stall every day

So she takes him out to work and play games

And somewhere along the way she finds herself smiling.

And she's stopped the tears and is picking herself up off the ground.

He shoulders are stooped as she tries to get the redness out of her face with cold water.

And she pretends nothing happened on the way out.

And maybe she walks just a little bit slower.

And the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.

But somehow, she'll be okay.

Because she's got what she needs.