COFFEE

CHAPTER 17

"There is a curious thing that happens with the passage of time: a calcification of character......

Sartaj is changing; his behavior, his priorities are changing. He gets occupied with his work all the time. The weekends that he used to spend with his family, are being spent with his clients, as he says. I don't remember when last time he kisses me, have dinner together, he makes love or holds me from back while I am busy in the kitchen...... craving for my love, urges to kiss him....... What's happening to him or it's already happened, the realization of his ignoring me comes late?

"If he's forgotten me, I'll make him remember me. I'll make him want me again."

It's 22.30 hrs and he's still not come. I call at his factory's number, "Hello!" this is not Sartaj's voice. 'Hello! I am calling from home, where is your Sir?' I get worried. "Madam, Sir to nau bajje hi chale gaye (He's left at 21.00 hrs)," his watchman answers. 'He must have gone with his client' I convince myself. Sarima sleeps, mummy and daddy sleep too. I have changed into his favorite nightie. He comes around 1 a.m. He looks at me and says, "got late today." 'Please don't overexert yourself, Sartaj,' I take his blazer and ask for dinner but like always, he had dinner with his clients. Sarima sleeps with her grandmother because her cot is too small for her and I can't let her sleep alone in her big room. Sartaj changes and I make coffee for two of us. He without saying anything holds the cup. We are sipping the coffee quietly. He never takes his eyes off the coffee cup, and remains silent. While taking a sip, I creep closer to him and put my head on his shoulder. I know he will turn to me and holds me as he used to do, he will place a kiss on my forehead, his favorite place and my favorite kiss, I know... he will....

But to my shock, he shrugs his shoulder and keeps me away with his hand which once used to raise to hold me with love only. 'What happened! Why are you behaving like this my love, are you get too tired to love your wife,' I reach to his face. 'Let me give you a head massage,' I touch his hair. He looks at me and throws a hot coffee on my face...................

 The coffee isn't too hot to make my face burnt, but my soul gets burns. I stiffen as I realize what has happened, but before I could even raise my voice, he leaves. I don't know how to react, what to say, where to go....... I keep sitting there, face drenched in tears and coffee......

Sarima's cries wake me up.... She's coming towards my room. I rush to bathroom to wash my face and change the white nightie that gets yellow stains. I don't want my daughter to get scared of seeing her mother in this situation. She won't understand and I won't let her understand...ever.

It's 8 a.m. Last night! I have no time to think about it, Sarima is crying continuously. I carry my angel and make her lie in my lap and begin to feed her, soothes my soul to some extent.......

Mummy enters, "Samaira, are you okay? You never wake up late!" 'Yes Mummy, I am fine. We slept late last night so can't realize about the time,' I smile to conceal my swollen eyes. She comes closer, "What happened? Sartaj has left early today without breakfast," she holds my face in her hands. I struggle to control my emotions, to hold tears, but with her touch dam of my tears break off. Mummy keeps Sarima on bed slowly as she falls into sleep. And holds me; hugs me, my emotions burst out I weep like a little girl and keep my head in Mummy's lap. She remains silent and strokes my hair, "Don't let any misunderstanding overshadowed your married life, clear everything today when he comes back." I swallow a lump in my throat and my eyes overflow with tears again. Mummy gets breakfast for me; I try to go to the kitchen but don't feel strength in my body. The last night's incident has made me weak. 'You've to be strong, Samaira, for yourself; for your daughter,' I make a decision.  

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