Skank

Chapter 20

Eliza's POV

I woke up to the sun shining in my face, leaking through the curtains, and the strong aroma of coffee flooding my senses. Beside me, Alexander stood with a smile on face on his face and a tray in his hands. On that tray sat a mug of coffee and bacon & eggs shaped into a smiley face.

"[Aw, you shouldn't have!]" I gushed, admiring the food in front of mel He just shook his head and continued to smile, handing me the tray. I took it and instantly dug in, I was ravenous. With every bite, all that could come into mind was Maria. Waking up to her cooking breakfast, her smile, the way the food was cooked with absolute love. I began to tear up.

"[Is something wrong..?]" Alex asked, concern painted on his face. "[Do you not like the food?]"

I rapidly shook my head, "[no, the food is delicious!]" I wiped my tears. "[The food is great, I'm sorry.]" I continued to eat. He sat next to me and watched. Not in a creepy way, more like he was admiring me. I didn't mind.

"[What do you want to do today, princess?]" He asked, gently rubbing my thigh. I looked up at him and feigned a smile.

"[We could go to the bookstore? We always used to do that when we were younger.]"

Alexander smiled brightly, "[That's a great idea!]" He stood up and began to walk towards the door. "[I'll give you time to eat and change, just holler when you're ready.]" He made his way out and shut the door behind him. I waited until I could no longer hear his footsteps before I began to cry.

Once I started crying, I found it near impossible to stop. I let out everything that had been building up from the very start. I ached for Maria. I missed every bit of her, this never should've happened. I was such a fool. I needed Maria, I felt helpless without her by my side. I'm back home where I belong and I'm living my old life, but now it feels wrong. Ever since I met Maria, she'd been my life. I can't live without her. It hurts too much.

"[Almost ready?]" Alexander called from the other room.

I quickly cleared my face, "[Almost!]"

Time skip

Alexander and I walked hand in hand as we walked to our favorite library, all the nostalgia of the past flooding back and suffocating me with a vast array of emotions. It wasn't fair. None of this. Why me?

We walked over to the rows of books and began to look. I glanced at Alexander who was running his finger over the rims of the books as he walked past.

I turned my gaze back to the books in front of me, grabbing a random one and pretending to be interested. "[I'll be over there reading.]" I lied, gesturing to some couches across the library. Alex nodded and continued looking at books, fading into the maze of columns.

I took the book and quietly wandered to the couch that was near beckoning for me. Everything felt so off, like none of this was real. Like I was waiting tom wake up with Maria by my side to realize this was all a cruel dream. This couldn't be real, I refused to believe it was. I was so set on the fact that I was about to be handed a reset button and restart my week. This was just an awful trick, it had to be. I'd close my eyes and when I woke up, I'd be on the airplane with Maria's head resting on my shoulder, ready to start a life together in Israel. I felt so numb. How could this happen? How could I let this happen? I was starting to realize I was my own worst enemy, that I was setting myself up for failure.

Maria's POV

Running. Running faster. At first, running away from my past, now, running towards it. Asking myself, why? Why did I kiss Peggy? Why did I let her get high? Why did I push Eliza away? Why did I let her leave so frequently? Why didn't I learn Hebrew faster? Why did I get on that plane? Why did I agree to leave with Eliza? Why did I let her in? Why did I sleep with her? Why did I show her around town? Why did I skip school? Why did I befriend her? Why did I speak to her? Why did I quit prostitution? Why did I unplug the cord on my dad? Why did I turn my back on him, even for just a second? Why didn't I raise more money? Why did I just stand there while my mom shot herself in the head? Why did I start smoking? Why did I start hanging with the wrong crowd? Why was I even born? I started to heave as I ran out of breath and I realized how far I had ran. Now, I was truly lost. Maybe I'd never see Eliza or Peggy or Angelica ever again. Maybe I was born to suffer.

Yea, maybe I was born to suffer. Maybe I started hanging with the wrong crowd as a cry for help. Maybe I started smoking to cope with the terrible shit I'd been through. Maybe I just stood there as my mom blew her brains out because I was sick of her abuse. Maybe I didn't raise more money because every time I gave myself to a stranger I lost a little bit of myself. Maybe I turned my back because I didn't know it would be the last time I'd ever see my dad. Maybe I unplugged him because I knew I couldn't afford to care for a vegetable. Maybe I quit prostitution because I couldn't live like this anymore. Maybe I spoke to Eliza because I was aching for any bit of positivity I was offered. Maybe I befriended her because honestly, I needed a friend. Maybe I skipped school because I needed a break from the torture. Maybe I showed her around because I knew what it was like to be a stranger. Maybe I slept with her because I'd never truly felt love. Maybe I let her in because she was lost and I wanted to be the one to find her. Maybe I agreed to leave with her because I was sick and tired of living in hell every day. Maybe I got on that plane because even though I was terrified, I had the love of my life by my side. Maybe I didn't learn Hebrew faster because deep down, I wanted to be dependant on Eliza. Maybe I pushed her away because the feeling of betrayal was too strong to handle. Maybe I let Peggy get high because I was tired of saying no and maybe I kissed her because I needed to feel that affection I lacked once again.

And maybe I should stop living in the maybes. I took a deep breath and headed into the library in front of me, it was getting cold.

Charles' POV

"Thank you for such a warm welcome," I smiled with gratitude, sitting down at the cowboy's rocking chair.

"Well, anytime pal." He replied, sitting next to me. He was a tall man, an attractive one and he knew it. He had mocha skin and chocolate brown eyes. He was wearing a brown hat. His breath smelled of coffee and cigarettes, but his jacket smelled of alcohol. His house seemed disorganized, but as if he had his own organization system throughout the mess. His desk was stacked with papers and it was clear he was a businessman. His house was worn, he had been living here for a while.

"Is the Mrs. home?" I asked, "I would love to talk with her as well."

James shook his head, almost in a laugh. "Unfortunately, my Betty is no longer with us."

I left it at that. We both stayed quiet for a moment.

"So, what did you come to talk about, officer?" He asked with a smile.

"Well," I cleared my throat. "I actually came to talk about Maria Lewis"

His bright smile quickly twisted into a grimace and his once subtle country accent into full force. "I had nuttin to do wit'er disappearance, y'hear me?" He scowled.

I stuttered, thrown off by his sudden change of behavior. "B-But you do know about it... which tells me you know something. Do you know who may have helped her escape?" I took out my notepad and clicked my pen.

He put his hand on top of mine to prevent me from writing, "Maybe y'shoun't be stickin yur nose in utter folks' bus'ness little copper." He slowly moved his hand away. "Curful where yur routing 'round or y'might run into the wrong folks."

I stuttered again, unsure of how to respond to him. "Thanks f-for the warning.." I muttered, abruptly standing up. "I should go."

"Yea." He responded, returning to his normal speech pattern. "You probably should."

I left without another word.