Hidden Truths

Chapter 15 part 2

A/N this chapter contains violence/ physical abuse

Wednesday 09/12/15

I am in so much pain right now. My back has been slashed open in many areas. Some scars have been slashed open again. Some of those scars were still healing and now there's another wound on top of them. My right cheek is black and blue as is my jaw. I don't think it's broken though. My previous bruises on my arms and legs are still healing. I'm surprised I'm not yet crippled.

All this happened I think last week or the week before last. I'm not sure as I've been unconscious and only woke up a few days ago. I never went to the hospital because the doctors would ask questions that I can't answer. Luckily for me Mum's friend is a professional doctor and her friend's husband is a surgeon. They've kept me sedated while I was healing because I was so weak. I had to be fed through a tube.

Now I just eat soup and mashed up stuff that doesn't require chewing because the pain in my jaw is excruciating. I haven't spoken to anyone and communicate by gestures only. I spend my time drawing, reading, writing and watching stuff on my laptop.

I guess I should say what happened. Alex was at Jacob's house and I just got home from dropping him off. I heard Mum and Dad arguing and usually I would intervene but I was just too tired. I went to my room and laid down on my bed. The arguing wouldn't stop. Something crashed and then Mum was crying. I heard someone coming upstairs. I thought it was Mum so I opened my door. But it was Dad. And he looked pissed. Really really pissed.

He was heading straight for me. I knew what was coming. I locked my door shut and sat in front of it. I was petrified. I thought I would pass out in that moment. Yes, it wasn't the first time but I'd never seen him that angry before. The angrier he was the more steam he had to let out so the more he abused me.

I closed my eyes, bit down on my lip and clenched my fists. He was outside the door. I could hear him breathing hard and I swear he growled or something. He knocked.

Once. Twice.

I didn't respond, paralysed by fear.

He called my name and told me to let him in. He said if I listened to him he wouldn't hurt me. He was lying, of course, and I stayed rooted to the ground. I heard someone running up the stairs and then I heard Mum's voice. She was still crying and begging Dad not to hurt me. She said I was young and didn't deserve this. Dad told her to stfu. She was still pleading and begging and I don't really know what happened but I think Dad hit her. She stopped after that.

I don't know what else he did to her because he started pounding his fist on the door and yelling, telling me to open the door or he'll do worse to me than he's done before and I was scared and weak and didn't know what else to do so I crawled away from the door and slowly stood up. I unlocked the door and opened it just a little. I stared at Dad through the crack and he stared at me.

Then he smiled and said, 'Good girl'. He said, 'Don't be afraid, it's just a small punishment. Obey me and it'll hurt less. If you disobey I'll punish you more. Do you understand?' I nodded. He said, 'Good now let me in.' So I did.

He approached me and I backed up till I reached my bed. My heart was pounding so loudly and my eyes were watering up. He was just watching me and I had no idea what he was planning. I sank onto the bed and buried my face in my hands and I couldn't help it; I started crying.

Dad must've gotten bored at some point because he told me to stop but I couldn't. I lifted my head but the tears were still flowing. I expected Dad to be angry but what I saw scared me even more. He looked calm, so calm. All the anger had vanished.

I knew I was in more danger now. A calm Dad was worse than an angry Dad. He told me to stand up. I did. He cocked his head to the side, contemplating something. I didn't know what.

I slowly inched towards the nightstand by my bed. He followed, straining at me . He reached for his belt and unbuckled it. I reached behind me, trying to find anything that could be used as a weapon.

What happened next will leave me scarred- physically and mentally- forever.

Dad reached for me. He cupped the back of my head and pulled me in close just as I grabbed a vase and smashed it on his head. He let go and fell to the floor. I used the opportunity to make a run for it.

Just as I reached the door he grabbed my leg and pulled me back. I fell to the floor, whacking my cheek hard, and I screamed as he turned me over and climbed on top of me. He was raging now and as I pleaded for him to stop, he told me to shut up and then he punched me hard in the jaw. He started to unbutton my shirt and I clawed at his hands. I tried to squirm underneath him and he punched me again in the same place.

He stood up and yanked me up too. He pulled my shirt off and threw it to the ground. He turned me around. Then he ripped my bra off and got his belt. He started whipping me.

It stung so bad. I clenched my teeth to stop from screaming. Fresh tears sprung from my eyes. Ten lashes later he stopped. He grabbed me by the hair and said 'Next time you obey me or I'll give your mother five times what you got. And trust me it won't be pretty.'

He threw me to my bed and left me bleeding and crying and all alone.

Words cannot describe the rage I'm feeling right now. It's like the anger is rising from the surface and fuming and bubbling inside me, ready to erupt any second.

What kind of father does that to their own daughter? He should love and protect her but instead he...oh damn I could break a wall right now.

I remember seeing her all bruised up in bed and she told me Dad whipped her again.

I inhale and exhale slowly and count to ten. I need to keep my anger in so I can focus on finding answers. I turn the page and the date is her fifteenth birthday.