Depression... Anxiety... Schizophrenia...

Awkward Feelings

So recently me and Dillon been getting really close and its very weird... So I never though as myself of much of a homosexual or the more socially accepted now a days "Gay" or "Faggot". Horrible names to just call someone is in love to be honest but anyways. Me and him are basically brothers due to our time together and now that my father has had him adopted since the... "Incident", but I don't know there is something about him. He understands me more than anyone ever could, hell I trust him more than my own father, which is sad.. very sad. Ever sense the we lost mum he has been drinking every night and there is never a moment when he is sober, he even works drunk, surprised on how he kept his job.

As we all know I see Dillon a lot mainly because he lives with me and we are practically never apart. Now I still like girls but just Dillon has something that no one else has ever had. It's and Awkward Feeling.

The other day we was watching the new movie that has came out and I must have feel asleep on him but I couldn't remember waking up at 4 a.m with my body snuggled against him and I quickly felt my face get hot I jumped up and moved over the the other side of the couch because it was a sectional. I laid there flustered. I didn't understand whatsoever. Maybe I am bisexual? These thoughts kept racing through my brain rattling my skull. I couldn't comprehend the feelings. I love him but is it like that? I couldn't even think how dad would think of it.

Days and days gone by and my eyes are always attracted toward him, I even got lost in a trance several times. I think he starting to suspect things. I doubt he would take this any good either.

Now I would say I ain't the most masculine guy, hell I look like a dike. (No offense). I am Skinny and have two piercing in my lips I would say I am no more than 5'10" and I look like the one guy who vapes in the back in of the room and ignores everyone. So people can get my confused for the drummer of a very edgy punk band or the one girl who tries to look like a guy but still want to keep some feminine features.

Even had a couple guys hit on my obliviously it was some fuckbois who just wanted to smash until they see my up close and noticed I am a dude. Oh yes I found the word. "Trap" a guy that other may mistaken for a girl in certain anime.