Book of Poems

Abandoned

No.
Not again, please tell me this is a lie.
But it isn't a lie, they're gone again.
I'm alone.
Left only with the voices and a nurses hand on my shoulder,
Telling me to take my stuff and go.
To stop crying.
You don't understand.
I'm alone.
Darkness clouds my vision as the tears fall
I can't see, I can't think.
Why.
What did I do to deserve this?
Is it the cuts on my arm, is it the air of death around me?
The knowledge that your daughter should be dead?
That she wants to be gone?
"Please stay" I whisper, not like they would listen.
Mom's gone already, probably in the car.
I'm alone with the nurse, standing still next to me.
"Go to the unit."
Those four words trigger a new wave of tears.
This isn't a joke, I'm really being locked up again.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Haven't you left me enough?
Is it the voices that cloud my head?
Is it the ghosts that follow me around?
Is it that your daughter is a freak?
Questions.
Muetly, I follow the nurse.
Follow down twisting hallways with no windows.
We reach the unit, the reality sets in.
They're gone and I'm alone.
Again.
But I will comply, I will play the part of a broken little girl.
Because that's what I am.
A broken, destroyed, empty little girl.

Yeah if it isn't obvious from the poem I'm in the middle of a mental breakdown and wrote a poem about my main fear. Being abandoned. Locked up again for something I can't stop. I'm crying. I should stop crying. I'm just going to upload the stupid poem and go to sleep. Night y'all. Or morning. Whatever time it is for you.