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Understanding Jealousy

Dan didn’t look up from his laptop as the front door opened. "How was your date?" he asked Phil monotonously. Phil cleared his throat and Dan tore his eyes away from the screen to look up at him questioningly. There was a girl stood next to him, she came to about his shoulder (not surprising considering Phil’s height), had brown, almost black eyes, and her hair was a brown-blonde mix. “It was good,” Phil replied, a little awkwardly, “This is Isabel.” Dan nodded, watching the girl more than Phil.

“Hi,” she smiled sweetly. It made Dan feel sick. “You can call me Izzy if you want.”

“I’ll stick with Isabel thanks,” Dan told her emotionlessly. Her smile faltered slightly but Phil squeezed her hand lightly and her eyes lit up again. “I’ll be in my room if you want me,” Dan rose from the sofa, unplugging his charger and taking his laptop to his room, ignoring the slightly confused look Phil sent him. Dan sat on his bed, his laptop open at his side, and sighed. He couldn’t bring himself to continue concentrating on the editing; he had only managed to do it for the past two hours because Phil had been in the video. Now though, he could hear Isabels giggles through the wall and he could just imagine the way they were probably laying together on the sofa, not paying attention to whatever it was that was on the TV. It made it impossible to focus on anything else as he lay there, grinding his teeth together. He knew full well why it made him mad, why he acted the way he did when Phil had girls around. He was jealous. Dan had never really seen himself as the jealous type before, but since being friends with Phil, he could barely stand to know the names of Phil’s girlfriends, let alone be in the same room as them. Although he recognised the feeling as jealousy, if anyone ever felt the need to ask him, he couldn’t really explain why he was jealous. Not that people asked, he hid it well. Or at least well enough that people didn’t question him.

A knock on his door pulled Dan from his thoughts. “Yeah,” he said grabbing his laptop to make it seem like he was doing something.

“We’re gonna order a Chinese, you want anything?” Phil asked from the doorway. The corners of Dan’s mouth lifted into a small smile at Phil’s thoughtfulness,

“Just the usual please,” he replied.

“Ok,” Phil hesitated, as if wanting to say something more, but walked away, closing Dan’s door again and picking up the phone.

-

“Dan!” Phil called from the hallway some time later, “Food’s here.” Dan was tempted to stay in his room, pretend he hadn’t heard, or to get his own food and leave them to it, claiming he was working. But either way he knew Phil would just pull him out and make them all eat together. Wearily, he stood up and walked out to the kitchen where Isabel was unpacking the food and Phil was laying the table. “Alright,” he murmured, as Isabel gave him that overly bright smile of hers. He sat down at the table, pulling a leg up to his chest; in a way it felt like it would stop him from having to talk to either of them. “Izzy was just telling me about her friend. She works in a zoo, right Iz?” Phil said, trying to get the conversation going. Isabel placed the food on the table and the two sat down on the opposite side to Dan. “Yeah, it’s really cool. She’s always telling me about what they do there. I have a lot of llama stories from her if you wanna hear any?” Izzy suggested.

“No thanks,” Dan muttered, stabbing some chips and shovelling them into his mouth.

“Yeah, they’re better when she tells them anyway,” she said, “You should meet her, I think you’d like her Dan.” Dan looked at her, obviously annoyed, but she seemed to miss it as she continued to eat. Phil however, didn’t miss it, and kicked him under the table.

“Maybe we should get them together,” he joked. Dan glared at him over the table, not caring what Isabel thought of him. He was not going to ‘get together’ with one of her friends. In fact, he wasn’t going to get together with anyone, he just wanted it to be him and Phil, no Isabel and no Isabel’s friend. “Cheer up Dan, I’m just joking,” Phil said with a smile while Isabel laughed. Laughed. A tinkly little annoying laugh that Dan never wanted to hear again.