Back in Black and Ready to Slap

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Tony learned a valuable lesson in the five minutes he had before death: it freakin hurts.
At least, he thought he was dead.
The world rushed back to him at once, blaring and loud and unexpected.
"What the hell?" he muttered, feeling around the wet concrete.
Wait, concrete?
Using his bloodied hands, he pushed himself upward and glanced around. The blaring lights, constant honking, and smell of bodily odor gave it away.
New York City
"Excuse me! I need to use your phone!" He scrambles to the first person he could find: a fourteen, maybe fifteen year old girl who gazed at him in annoyance.
"Yeah, just don't run away."
He nodded and went to make a call. However, he was distracted by her odd choice of home screen.
"Peter?!"
There he was, in his blue and red suit. Except, of course, his mask was missing.
Okay, I've gone crazy
"Are you gonna call someone or what?" She became agitated and gestured for her phone.
"How did you get this?"
"Get what?"
He pointed at her home screen, "This!"
"Oh, People Magazine."
He did a double take in shock, "PEOPLE KNOW?!!"
"Yeah Mr. old dude. It's kinda been well known for like... fifteen years. He used to be a hottie but now he's like... not."
"Where is he now?" Was he safe?
"I don't know, maybe in the slums downtown?"
Tony didn't know how to comprehend this much information.
"Well, thank you" he hurried away. Now he had somewhere to be.

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