Amara

First Night

After kong maligo, heto na at lumabas na ako mula sa banyo, bihis na at ready na matulog. Napansin kong ipinatong ni Sophia ang mga gamit nya sa double bed na kung saan sana ako matutulog, she was on her computer. Nagsimula akong tanggalin ang mga gamit ko sa kama.

"What are you doing?" Sophia said.

"Uhm, getting my bed freed up? Bakit?" I asked her.

"Dito ka sa tabi ko matutulog love." Sophia said as she patted the space beside her.

"Love? And also dyan kamo sa tabi mo ako matutulog?" I asked her just to see if hindi ito nagkakamali ng sabi.

"Ayaw mo ba?" She said looking up at me.

"H-hindi, hindi naman sa ganun, pero kasi annulled na a year ago pa ang kasal natin. Baka lang kako nagkakamali ka." I said to her.

"Did I stutter?" She said, her eye brow raised.

I put back the duffle bag at ipinatong na muli ito sa double bed. I then climbed up to my side of the bed. Natapos na din itong magsend ng email, pati ako dali sa email nya bilang empleyado ako sa kompanya nila. Tumunog ang cellphone ko, I reached for it and read her last email. Which was essentially, a thank you for the previous year.

"Sipag talaga ng ex-wife ko." I commented to her.

"Matulog ka na dyan, love." Sophia said.

"Ayaw ko pa, love." I said to her.

She closes her laptop at ipinatong ito sa double bed, she climbs on her side of the bed and lays down next to me.

"You have my undivided attention, now tell me what's bugging you?" She said to me.

"Wala, love. It's just aren't you scared of me?" I asked her.

"Why should I be scared? Amara, when you left me 22 years ago, nakaya kong buhaying mag-isa ang anak natin, natutunan kong tumayo sa sarili kong paa, so kahit ano pa ang darating ulit sa akin, I think I am ready. But are you? Because I don't want to be with someone who would make me miserable again, dahil baka ikamatay ko na ang sakit sakaling mangyari ulit yun." She said as she looked up to me.

"I can't promise everything Sophia, but I know better now. Ang tagal kong hinintay na magkaroon muli ng chance. I am never doing anything stupid again. Maniwala ka sakin Sophia." I said sincerely to her.

"Please prove it to me, I don't want to get annulled again for the second time." She said.

"We'll be stronger my love. Don't worry." I said to her.

"Tell me what I needed to do, love. Magtulungan tayo." She said.

Inakap ko na ito ng mahigpit, grateful of a second chance. Grateful that I am here with her. Bumangon muli ako sa pagkakahiga, inilabas ko mula sa aking duffle bag ang dalawang box na naglalaman ng singsing namin noong kinasal kami at ang engagement ring na binigay ko sa kanya.

I knelt to her at kinuha ang kaliwang kamay nito.

"Sophia Howell, will you be my wife again?" I said to her.

"Yes, love." She said.

I got her hand and slipped in her ring, her engagement ring was a Tiffany & Co. Ring, Princess Cut Stone, set on an infinity band. While our wedding rings are Cartier D'Amour bands, studded with diamonds all over the ring, platinum bands. Isinauli sa akin ito ni Sophia, on the last day of trial for the annulment. I never believed in returning things back, sa akin kasi hindi na dapat ibinabalik ang mga bagay na ibinigay ko na. So, I kept them, hopeful of the fact that she would accept them again.

Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari sa amin ni Sophia, kanina lang ay tinanong ko siya kung pwede bang mahalin ko siya ulit. Kung pwede bang kami na lang ulit. I was not expecting to receive an answer tonight. The fact that Sophia said yes tonight meant she is ready to forgive me. She pulled me up and hugged me tight.

"Its been a year love, salamat for guiding me and for always supporting me, even during the times I was so hard on you." She said.

"No, love. I deserved it, all of what you have done to make my life a misery, I deserved every bit of that. So don't say sorry. Naiintindihan ko love." I said to her.

"I love you Amara Ishimoto, there was not a day I didn't love you." She said to me.

This was enough for me to close the previous chapter of our story and to start anew. We may have had things worst the past 22 years, pero isang I love you lang from Sophia, parang hindi naman nabawasan ang pag-mamahalan namin. Parang sa pakiramdam ko, Sophia and I didn't even break up. It was nice to be able to hold her this way again, something I was feeling envious of Glaiza all these years.

Ako kasi ang unang minahal ni Sophia, ako din ang unang pinakasalan nya. But the pain my Mother had given me had deeply wounded me, I did not heal myself properly. I used Sophia and the stability of her love to appear happy and healed, pero ang totoo, I was not yet healed from trauma and I am not yet ready to be in a commitment. I know better now and I promised myself that I will never do those horrific things I did previously. It was a promise I swear to uphold hindi lang para kay Sophia kundi para sa akin din. We hugged for what seemed a lifetime, I am never going to lie but her hugs are the warmest and tightest hugs I have had all my life. When she hugs me, I feel safe and calm and I feel like I am ready to tackle life's bullshits. I don't know about you, but if you ask me, I am very fond of my wife's reassuring hugs, pakiramdam ko parang ayos na ang buhay ko kung kayakap ko siya, I wish it will never end. But she pulls away and looks at me lovingly. She smiled her sweetest one, the one that's enough to reassure me of her love. 

"I missed you so much, Sophia. I am going to make sure to never hurt you again love." I said to her. 

"I never doubted you love." She said smiling at me.

She pulls me back to the bed and proceeded to hug me. I held her in my arms, relishing her warmth. I have never been at peace in 22 years save for the time I slept over with our little Yoyon. I have missed her so much that I held her tightly. 

A/N:

So eto na nga, pokmaru si Sophia kay Amara. Ano kayang mangyayari sa forever ng dalawang ito? Pogi daw si Amara eh. hahahahahahaha! Malalaman natin yan! 

Maraming salamat po ulit, I appreciate all of your votes and your patience! Stay happy folks!

Spread light and love!

- Sky