My Online Journal

entry 26

I'm feeling kind of lonely I guess. I have friends and stuff, but I just....I dont know. I'm just not happy. I try to be, I really do. I laugh, smiles, ect. But its just not how I feel.

Recently I havent been drawing as much, most of the time it takes me about 2 months to finish a sketchbook but ive been using the same ones, since...I guess like a month and 1/2 before school  started. I'm just unmotivated. I barley play videogames anymore, and I love the do that.

All I've really been doing is sitting in my room, listening to music, cry, sleep or watch YouTube. I think theres something wrong with me, but I dont know.

Ive also started to selfharm again. Not as bad as it was, maybe like 1 - 4 cuts then I wait for those to heal. I try not to worry my friends, so thank God its getting cold out so I can wear a hoodie. I'm just...agh idk. I just want to disappear, no one will care most likely, I'm just a weird ugly geek child who gets in everyones way and i hate that. I dont want to be me anymore.