A Thousand Salt Kisses (Book 1 of Salt Kiss series)

><> Chapter Forty-One <><

I woke up and was devastated to see big rain clouds in the sky. My window was splattered with rain drops, like some giant had come and done a massive raspberry all over it.

It felt like that anyway.

I had worked until one in the morning last night at The Rose, as it had been a Saturday night. It had been tiring but the one thing that had kept me going was the excitement of today. I was supposed to meet Llyr at sun-high and go to Crystal Beach.

How would we do this now?

My phone beeped. It was a text from my Mum. "Eugh," I grumbled, as I opened the message. I had not heard from her in a while now:

Hello, it's you mother.  I just wondered when I was going to get to see my darling girl? I miss you.

I felt my heart soften a little. She was actually displaying a little sorrow.

What do I do? Run to her with open arms and condone her behaviour towards Dad, or be cold and brutal, punish her?

I put the phone down and stared out of the window.

This is family, I thought. Not politics. There's a time to think with your head and a time to think with your heart. And I know my heart wants my Mum.

I slowly texted her back:

I miss you too, Mum. When are you around?

I turned off my phone. That was all I could handle for now.

I trudged to the bathroom. I thought I may as well get ready to meet Llyr, it was nearly eleven thirty.

I thought about my family as I stood under the jet. Since Dad had scaled SKANX he appeared to have calmed down alot. Maybe it had it helped him get all the rage out of his system. But it didn't fix things. Now I was seeing a sadder, more subdued Dad. The reality was hitting him.

I felt guilt flush through me. I hadn't really been here for him the passed few weeks. I had been out wth Llyr and then ducking into the house to shower and race off to work. Was this really wrong?

I didn't know what my role in this house was supposed to be anymore. As much as she was the perpetrator, perhaps there was no better person than Mum to tell me what to do.

At around twelve-thirty I went down to the jetty. I could not see the sun under the clouds but knew by now that it peaked at around this time.

It was still raining and so I wore my sweatshirt for the first time in months and pulled the hood up. The other thing I noticed as I stepped out of my back door was the temperature. It was cold.

I walked down through the garden and could feel goosebumps prickling up on my tanned legs. I felt worried. Is winter kicking in early? It was mid August now, after all.

When I got to the jetty I could see him sitting on the end. He looked at me and pointed to the sky.
I responded with a big shrug. What can you do?

I sat next to him. He kissed me but even his lips on mine did not feel pleasurable in this weather.

"I know," he said, zoning in on my disappointment. "We can still go if you like though?"

I didn't know what to say. If we didn't go I would sit at home sad and depressed all day, but then if we went, I would be cold, wet and no doubt grumpy. It was a no-win situation.

"The first day it is clear again, I will be straight here at sun-high," he offered, as though to help me make up my mind.

I looked at him. Water ran down his face, like a little web of rivers.

"You think there will be more rainy days?" I said, wiping his face with my sleeve.

"It may go on for a little while," he said. "I can feel that it will, yes."

I nodded sadly. "Okay."

"What will you do today?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied truthfully. "May go and see my friend Rosie, I guess." I looked up at him and smiled. "What will you do?" I asked. I wondered what mers did on a rainy day.

"I will go and see Ri, I think," said Llyr. "He has been asking to see me."

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

Llyr raised his eyebrows. "Oh, he hasn't been talking to me for a while but maybe he wants to start again."

"Because of me?" I asked. Llyr had not mentioned this before.

Llyr looked down. I could see he didn't want to hurt me.

"I don't care. I love you," he said, looking at me again.

I leaned my head on his shoulder. We sure have a lot of hurdles to jump over...  

We sat like this on the jetty for a few more minutes but then the rain began to get heavier and so I sat up straight again.

"I should go in," I said, standing up.

He stood up too and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love you too, by the way," I said.