Amanda

Me

I'm Amanda , a mystery girl who's trying to figure out the real meaning of life , it's so complicated but not impossible..

Since I was a kid , I was different in a strange way that made my parents worried about me .

And when I was eight years old I came up with the conclusion that there's too types of people in the world :
Successful people who are good at anything at small age and not sure if they can be the same after twenty years. And people who wish that this kind of person dies in a car crush .

And of course I was the second type because my little brother Dany was the successful one , plus that he was social , that was not bad for a kid .

At the age of ten , kids should be active , childish and the most important thing : normal .

I was totally the opposite, I was lazy , my mind wasn't childish as an example I hated toys and dolls that other kids are considering them as the only thing to live for , literally. I notice a sparkle in my brother's eyes everytime I see him playing with MR. Penguin , he's favourite toy , he was thinking that he's real although he's not talking , even he couldn't sleep without him.

As my idiot brother was thinking that his stupid toy is not talking because there's a secret communication between all the toys in the world . And if one toy discloses the secret , or if even one single human being get to know it in some way , the world of toys and childhood will extinct , Forever.

Despite of that obvious fake story , he was believing everything I already told you . As he were believing that Mr. Penguin is feeling him , he even could tell how much Mr. Penguin loves him , always one hundred percent .

I saw how pathetic my brother was , to believe all this ballshit , that I'm done with .

Everytime I see him , I tell myself, look at us , he's only six years old and I'm eight , he's my mom's and dad's favourite child , he has so many friends , he loves video games and Mr. Penguin , he was brilliant in class too .

Me , I was living in my own world , no dolls , no friends , I haven't even one friend , because they're all stupid , they're believing everything that their moms and dads tell them before they go to sleep as they cry everytime they get the chance .

I felt special for a reason , for not being like them , I used to feel like I'm a grown up person , it's just a matter of time and age that made my life harder.

My mom was always against me and my attitude, she was always complaining , wanting me to change my behavior and be like a kid . She was worried about me , worried about my weirdness, but I'm still not concerned about anything she was telling me .

My father was my only friend in this whole world , sometimes I wish he was small so I can have lunch with him at school . He always encourages me and opens useful conversations that I love to discuss with him , it gives me the energy to ask him more and more , like when I will grow up ? He always laugh and tell me that I'll be a woman so soon .

As he describes to me the life of adults , I got the message that it's a tough life, they're committed to work, family , but not me . I'm sure that I'll have a great life and I'll do my best to afford it to myself .

I got nobody's attention at school , expect bullyers who make fun of my outfit , they think that I dress like an old woman while I Iove oversized clothes , that's not fair. They make fun of my hair too, it's true that it was messy but I liked it . I had this pageboy haircut , and i hadn't even bothered to , like brush it . As I had fat chipmunked chicks , my skin was bronzed .

Everyday at school , I sit alone , watching other kids playing , I wasn't bothered about my loneliness. It was a pretty normal thing. That loneliness made me feel special too . Like I'm not more like a bunch of idiots who are stripped of thinking . They have nothing in their small little empty minds .

Sometimes I wonder , is that what really childhood looks like ?! , do I have to be obsessed with playing or curious to hear a bedtime story to be a normal child ?

Everyday I come up with the idea that there's a huge mistake about me , maybe I'm an adult but I just look younger, maybe there's magic and it came the minute I was born to make me look like that , small body with a huge mind . Sometimes I think that I can run the world , oh yeah why not !

I feel that I'm smart in some way , not just smart , but genius...

I have no friends , I'm not acting like a child ... Actually I hate other kids . No one is like me , they're all different , so why do I have to bother myself going the same school. There is no benefit. Actually I'm going to school because I'm forced to go , not to make new friends or to learn because it sounds boring .

I have a lot in mind , but that's me , nobody is perfect, and I mean it , and you'll see dear readers , plus that, we all have a story to tell and I'm about to tell you mine ...