As If ~PJM~

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⚠!! Suicidal references !!⚠

Its been three years since my big brother died. Three years of sleepless nights. Three years of blood dripping down my wrists. Three years of total agony.

Taehyung dropped out of highschool and started doing drugs.

I nearly got expelled for beating a bitch up.

Jimin and I broke up then got back together.

Three years is way too long to be like this.. And it won't stop... So why not just end it all..?

It only takes one small movement.

One small cut...

I sit there in the bathtub with a razor in my hand, dried tears staining my face as dried mascara paints my cheeks.

"You can do it... You'll be so much happier," I tell myself.

"So. Much. Happier-"

"Y/N..." I hear a small voice coming from the door of the bathroom and I turn to see Jimin looking straight at me with a sad expression gracing his features.

"Jimin, I-" He interrupts me by pulling me out of the bathtub and wrapping his arms around me.

Though my clothes are soaked, he didn't seem to care.

"Don't say anything..." He almost whispers as he rubs my back soothingly.

"J-Jimin..."

"Shh..."

We stand there, silent in each other's comfortable embrace.

"Y/N... You know there's no going back when you pierce those few layers of skin... What if I wasn't there to stop you...? What if I were too late...? Would I have to lose you, too...? I don't want to lose you... You're all I have left... And all I've ever needed... Three years... Three fucking years and I've never told you how much I love you..." His words seem so effortless, yet so strained by pain... I can't imagine what he's going through which makes me realize that I never once tried to ask him how he was feeling about all of this...

"When you were on the roof that day, years ago, I thought I would have lost the most important person in my life... Don't fucking do this to me... Don't tease me like this... I don't like having to wake up every day, anticipating that my very reason for living anymore is going to die.. Don't make me think that... Be happy... Drop out of highschool for all I care... As long as you're happy then I'm happy... We can grow old together and be poor and I would be fine with that because you would be happy... You would be with me... Don't give me another reason to hate myself... Please..."

I hug him tighter and I sob into his chest. "Jimin, I'm so sorry..."

"Don't you fucking tell me that you're sorry... I don't want to hear that bullshit..." He pins me to the wall and holds my waist with one hand. "Just... Be quiet... Let this all sink in... Understand how I feel before you do this... Is it really gonna make you so much happier? If it really was, I would make a suicide pact with you in a heartbeat. Whatever we go through, we go through it together." He kisses my forehead.

I cup his face and look him in the eye. "I love you too..." Almost as soon as the word "too" comes out of my mouth, he pulls me in for a passionate, sweet kiss.

I wrap my arms around his neck and tilt my head, deepening the kiss as he pulls me closer.

A shameless thought lingers in my brain, and I can't quite shake it off, especially as he feels up my shirt..

⚠!!18+!!⚠

"Baby... Do you trust me...?"

"I..." He looks at me with sad eyes as I hesitate. "I trust you." With those three words, I'm being picked up and set on the bed.

He kisses me passionately, his legs straddling my waist, as a small moan leaves my lips.

"J-Jimin..~ hah~" He pulls my shirt over my head and traces my jawline as my face becomes flustered.

"You're so beautiful..." He pulls his own shirt over his head, revealing his perfect, chocolate abs. He traces his finger down my spine and I arch my back at his touch.

Soon enough, we're fully naked, tangled in the sheets and covered in sweat, the room hot and steamy and flooded by the sound of moans as he pounds into me.

"A-ahh~ Ji-Jimin~"

"Hmm~?"

"I-I'm close~ ahh~" He pounds me harder, my moans becoming louder.

White release stains the sheets as Jimin cums inside of me. He pulls out and lays next to me, holding me close and whispering sweet nothings into my ear.